UD: C03

Chapter: 3 | You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!

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You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!

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This novel was posted on cntranslationss [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)

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_{This move of Li You deeply upset me, making me suffer many direct strikes, and led me to seriously mull over the situation. Now I had no way of explaining to her she misunderstood and it was not at all the way she imagined it to be.}
Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well.

This move of Li You deeply upset me, making me suffer many direct strikes, and led me to seriously mull over the situation. Now I had no way of explaining to her she misunderstood and it was not at all the way she imagined it to be. So, in the end, I had to go along with her. Go along with her while also consoling myself and waiting for the day she got a little older in order to be able to understand this was all a misunderstanding—a huge misunderstanding.

_{Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!}The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.

Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!

_{So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely.}Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"

So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely. Even though my grades were not that...great, I got the feeling Li Zhi was only looking for a reason to restrain me and didn't want me to go mucking about with my friends. This made me not like Li Zhi back then, plus I had no patience for the likes of Xiao Huaisu either.

_{Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale.}
Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends. The teacher then informed me that Li You had gotten into a fight with at another kid at her school, and also that the matter was quite serious. After the hits were given, she just screwed up her mouth and stared at me, turned around, then went back to her room in silence. After which she ended up ignoring me for a whole month! It scared me so much that I didn't dare use force to fix a problem after that. So if something did come up, like her being picky about her food, I'd usually persuade her patiently; saying how important it is for her to eat a balanced diet, and that eating her vegetables will make her grow tall as well as becoming a beautiful and smart little girl. Thankfully, even though my little Li You normally аsserts her independence, she would nevertheless heed my words, listening to some of it at least...

Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well. Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends.

_{Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!}But before, there was no chance, and now an opportunity is right before us. Xiao Huaisu had returned—he had actually come back! It would go against my conscience if I didn't give Li You the chance to see him, and what's more, was the fact of that kid's mom being so darn incredible. How the heck could I not give her the chance to see it? To be honest, I'm really jealous of Li You. I mean, to have such an incredible dad like myself, plus, an extraordinary mother like him.

Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!

_{The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.}
The loud bang of my book hitting the table frightened the students who were sleeping in the study, giving them quite a start—making them fear Professor Yan had arrived, as they each tore out a book one after the other trembling and scared shіtless, painstakingly trying to pretend they had been reading seriously all along. All the while as I, the main culprit, had already long fled without a trace.

The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.

_{But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet.}
Xiao Huaisu didn't recognise me, which didn't surprise me at all. After all, anyone who knew the perm having, stud earring wearing, tattooed little thug—who smoked in secret—I was four years ago, would most likely not аssociate that guy with this glasses wearing, well-dressed, hair grown out to cover the eyes version of me of four years later.

But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet. That's why to a guy like Xiao Huaisu, I probably looked like a childish little brat still wet behind the ears, and the impression that I was a bit naughty probably stuck with him.

_{Xiao Huaisu didn't recognise me, which didn't surprise me at all. After all, anyone who knew the perm having, stud earring wearing, tattooed little thug—who smoked in secret—I was four years ago, would most likely not аssociate that guy with this glasses wearing, well-dressed, hair grown out to cover the eyes version of me of four years later.}
If you went as far as to put this version of the now me in front of the me from four years ago, I'm sure he would've flipped the four years later version of me off and told me to get the fυсk outta his way. So Xiao Huaisu not recognising me is not one bit surprising. Us being apart for four years is one reason, and me changing a whole lot is another; but that doesn't mean I'm not bummed out about it. And stuff like this made me unable to help but sigh at the simple fact that as time passes, things may remain the same, but people always change.

Xiao Huaisu didn't recognise me, which didn't surprise me at all. After all, anyone who knew the perm having, stud earring wearing, tattooed little thug—who smoked in secret—I was four years ago, would most likely not аssociate that guy with this glasses wearing, well-dressed, hair grown out to cover the eyes version of me of four years later.

_{On the day I was asked to get a physical examination, I found out I had an incurable disease, the doctor had also said it was terminal and that I would not live that long. No matter how much I thought about it, I believed the best part of my life had only just begun, yet I had to prepare for its untimely and tragic end? Tell me, in all honestly, if it were you, would you be able to just resign yourself to such a fate? Especially when you still haven't bedded your Mr.}
The four years ago me once vowed to dye his hair seven times in different colours for each one, because he heard it could summon the dragon god, Shenlong. That's all a joke, obviously. It was actually just a stunt by the barbershop where they said if anyone dyed their hair seven times, in seven different colours, they'd award them with a free cut, wash and blow-dry for life! Now tell me the truth, if it were you, wouldn't you be interested? Well, it doesn't matter if you're not, because I was.

On the day I was asked to get a physical examination, I found out I had an incurable disease, the doctor had also said it was terminal and that I would not live that long. No matter how much I thought about it, I believed the best part of my life had only just begun, yet I had to prepare for its untimely and tragic end? Tell me, in all honestly, if it were you, would you be able to just resign yourself to such a fate? Especially when you still haven't bedded your Mr. Perfect...scratch that, when you still haven't been bedded by your Mr. Perfect? At that time, I had also blamed the doctor for not hiding it from me. Like, aren't they supposed to call up the family and friends to ask them to hide the prognosis from the person? This experience of mine did prove one thing though, all those scenes where the main protagonist of the show being the last one to learn of their incurable disease is not necessarily the norm in real life.

_{The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."}
So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip". And because I thought wearing stuff like that was "cool", when I saw Xiao Huaisu sitting on the sofa, wearing a white button-up, a pair of dress pants and a pair of silver-rimmed specs as he turned the page of a book as thick as a brick, I had thought there was not one bit of him that was cool. But, I could not deny that his facial features and his facial structure were just a teensy bit cooler than mine. However, this kind of upright and graceful handsomeness he possessed made the young and inexperienced me unable to describe such a thing, except for the feeling: this guy was so pretentious.

The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."

_{You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!}Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!

_{I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.}Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

_{Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."}
But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'. 

Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

_{And, on top of all that, when the bomb of me finding out about my untimely death dropped, I also discovered Uncle Xiao and his family were all moving abroad, and of it being unlikely that they would ever return. So, tell me the truth, if it were you, would you not have had the impulse to hightail it to your Mr.}
Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well. Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends.

And, on top of all that, when the bomb of me finding out about my untimely death dropped, I also discovered Uncle Xiao and his family were all moving abroad, and of it being unlikely that they would ever return. So, tell me the truth, if it were you, would you not have had the impulse to hightail it to your Mr. Perfect and say: I'm going to die soon, and you're going to leave soon, so can you sleep with me just this once?

_{Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"}"Oh... so you have a thing for handsome women then?" Li You and the bun vendor aunty both looked at me meaningfully.

Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"

_{Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.}
But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood. When we did finally get to know one another, I had just started junior high and Xiao Huaisu was already a college student. Li Zhi had asked Xiao Huaisu to tutor me when he returned home during the summer vacation, but due to him being busy with other things at the time, Li Zhi did not get his wish and I gained another summer vacation of freedom.

Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.

_{"Oh... so you have a thing for handsome women then?" Li You and the bun vendor aunty both looked at me meaningfully.}
But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet. That's why to a guy like Xiao Huaisu, I probably looked like a childish little brat still wet behind the ears, and the impression that I was a bit naughty probably stuck with him.

"Oh... so you have a thing for handsome women then?" Li You and the bun vendor aunty both looked at me meaningfully.

_{The four years ago me once vowed to dye his hair seven times in different colours for each one, because he heard it could summon the dragon god, Shenlong. That's all a joke, obviously.}
Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!

The four years ago me once vowed to dye his hair seven times in different colours for each one, because he heard it could summon the dragon god, Shenlong. That's all a joke, obviously. It was actually just a stunt by the barbershop where they said if anyone dyed their hair seven times, in seven different colours, they'd award them with a free cut, wash and blow-dry for life! Now tell me the truth, if it were you, wouldn't you be interested? Well, it doesn't matter if you're not, because I was.

_{The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."}Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well.

The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."

_{While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.}Tiny note: About his mom (Lee Moli), her last name is also Li but a different character Lǐ (李) which is why I used Lee for her last name.黎:Lí - is for Li Zhi/Tian/You.[] 《坏蛋是怎样炼成的》: How Bad Guys are Made. It is a book series that chronicles how some bullied nerdy dude grew up to be the murderous crime boss. You can find the online raws by searching the title if you're interested, over 1000 total chapters for both volumes. You can find it on some "un" legal sites, and the volumes are still available for purchase.[] 古惑仔 is a long-аss manhua series (started in the 90s) called "古惑仔teddyboy"; turned 90s Hong Kong gangster movie series (Young and Dangerous). Chan Honam (陈浩南) is the MC of this series. The first movie is on Netflix (Young and Dangerous), the Official English Version is here, and most of the raw manhua is here. It is a long-аss series with over 2000 chapters.[] A lay disciple is someone who does not have to abide by the tenets of Buddhism despite being a follower of the martial arts and whatnot at a temple.

While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.

_{You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!}
After all that, Xiao Huaisu went abroad for college, which made it harder for us to see each other and meeting one another was rare. So by the time I got into senior high, that hard to come by spec of a friendship we managed to have was already long flung from my mind.

You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!

_{The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.}N/A

The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.

_{"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.}But don't you dare think, for one second, I regretted my decision back then. If I did regret it, wouldn't it be the same as denying Li You's existence, along with her arrival, and saying they were actually a mistake?

"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

_{But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'.} 
So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely. Even though my grades were not that...great, I got the feeling Li Zhi was only looking for a reason to restrain me and didn't want me to go mucking about with my friends. This made me not like Li Zhi back then, plus I had no patience for the likes of Xiao Huaisu either.

But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'. 

_{Tiny note: About his mom (Lee Moli), her last name is also Li but a different character Lǐ (李) which is why I used Lee for her last name.
黎:Lí - is for Li Zhi/Tian/You.}
Thus, relying on my readings of all volumes of "How a Bad Guy is Made" and feeling that I, myself, was just like the protagonist, Xie Wendong^[1], or similar to the Chan Honam in Teddy Boy: Young and Dangerous^[2]; with a seemingly refined and non-aggressive man like Xiao Huaisu, I felt we were nothing alike by the looks of him. However, facts have proven that looking refined on the outside, does not equal being refined on the inside. And never in a thousand years had I thought that this refined looking guy, would actually completely suppress me—a guy who went to a Buddhist Temple for specialized wushu (martial arts) training as a lay disciple^[3] for six months. Furthermore, while I was oppressed, I also felt his moves were as cool as the wulin masters in movies each time he overpowered me. But, at the same time, I was very disappointed in wushu since I was defeated by a taekwondo student; having not one trace of awareness in the deficiencies within my own learning.

Tiny note: About his mom (Lee Moli), her last name is also Li but a different character Lǐ (李) which is why I used Lee for her last name.
黎:Lí - is for Li Zhi/Tian/You.[] 《坏蛋是怎样炼成的》: How Bad Guys are Made. It is a book series that chronicles how some bullied nerdy dude grew up to be the murderous crime boss. You can find the online raws by searching the title if you're interested, over 1000 total chapters for both volumes. You can find it on some "un" legal sites, and the volumes are still available for purchase.[] 古惑仔 is a long-аss manhua series (started in the 90s) called "古惑仔teddyboy"; turned 90s Hong Kong gangster movie series (Young and Dangerous). Chan Honam (陈浩南) is the MC of this series. The first movie is on Netflix (Young and Dangerous), the Official English Version is here, and most of the raw manhua is here. It is a long-аss series with over 2000 chapters.[] A lay disciple is someone who does not have to abide by the tenets of Buddhism despite being a follower of the martial arts and whatnot at a temple.

_{The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."}So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip". And because I thought wearing stuff like that was "cool", when I saw Xiao Huaisu sitting on the sofa, wearing a white button-up, a pair of dress pants and a pair of silver-rimmed specs as he turned the page of a book as thick as a brick, I had thought there was not one bit of him that was cool. But, I could not deny that his facial features and his facial structure were just a teensy bit cooler than mine. However, this kind of upright and graceful handsomeness he possessed made the young and inexperienced me unable to describe such a thing, except for the feeling: this guy was so pretentious.

The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."

_{Xiao Huaisu didn't recognise me, which didn't surprise me at all. After all, anyone who knew the perm having, stud earring wearing, tattooed little thug—who smoked in secret—I was four years ago, would most likely not аssociate that guy with this glasses wearing, well-dressed, hair grown out to cover the eyes version of me of four years later.}Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!

Xiao Huaisu didn't recognise me, which didn't surprise me at all. After all, anyone who knew the perm having, stud earring wearing, tattooed little thug—who smoked in secret—I was four years ago, would most likely not аssociate that guy with this glasses wearing, well-dressed, hair grown out to cover the eyes version of me of four years later.

_{But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper.}
It was around this time when I had developed highly improper thoughts towards Xiao Huaisu.

But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper. I thought I was used to being all sad and depressed, but then the heavens decided to give me one fatal blow.

_{"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.}
But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper. I thought I was used to being all sad and depressed, but then the heavens decided to give me one fatal blow.

"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

_{Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.}The four years ago me once vowed to dye his hair seven times in different colours for each one, because he heard it could summon the dragon god, Shenlong. That's all a joke, obviously. It was actually just a stunt by the barbershop where they said if anyone dyed their hair seven times, in seven different colours, they'd award them with a free cut, wash and blow-dry for life! Now tell me the truth, if it were you, wouldn't you be interested? Well, it doesn't matter if you're not, because I was.

Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.

_{Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.}On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.

Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.

_{So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip".}
On the day I was asked to get a physical examination, I found out I had an incurable disease, the doctor had also said it was terminal and that I would not live that long. No matter how much I thought about it, I believed the best part of my life had only just begun, yet I had to prepare for its untimely and tragic end? Tell me, in all honestly, if it were you, would you be able to just resign yourself to such a fate? Especially when you still haven't bedded your Mr. Perfect...scratch that, when you still haven't been bedded by your Mr. Perfect? At that time, I had also blamed the doctor for not hiding it from me. Like, aren't they supposed to call up the family and friends to ask them to hide the prognosis from the person? This experience of mine did prove one thing though, all those scenes where the main protagonist of the show being the last one to learn of their incurable disease is not necessarily the norm in real life.

So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip". And because I thought wearing stuff like that was "cool", when I saw Xiao Huaisu sitting on the sofa, wearing a white button-up, a pair of dress pants and a pair of silver-rimmed specs as he turned the page of a book as thick as a brick, I had thought there was not one bit of him that was cool. But, I could not deny that his facial features and his facial structure were just a teensy bit cooler than mine. However, this kind of upright and graceful handsomeness he possessed made the young and inexperienced me unable to describe such a thing, except for the feeling: this guy was so pretentious.

_{On the day I was asked to get a physical examination, I found out I had an incurable disease, the doctor had also said it was terminal and that I would not live that long. No matter how much I thought about it, I believed the best part of my life had only just begun, yet I had to prepare for its untimely and tragic end? Tell me, in all honestly, if it were you, would you be able to just resign yourself to such a fate? Especially when you still haven't bedded your Mr.}Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

On the day I was asked to get a physical examination, I found out I had an incurable disease, the doctor had also said it was terminal and that I would not live that long. No matter how much I thought about it, I believed the best part of my life had only just begun, yet I had to prepare for its untimely and tragic end? Tell me, in all honestly, if it were you, would you be able to just resign yourself to such a fate? Especially when you still haven't bedded your Mr. Perfect...scratch that, when you still haven't been bedded by your Mr. Perfect? At that time, I had also blamed the doctor for not hiding it from me. Like, aren't they supposed to call up the family and friends to ask them to hide the prognosis from the person? This experience of mine did prove one thing though, all those scenes where the main protagonist of the show being the last one to learn of their incurable disease is not necessarily the norm in real life.

_{But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'.} Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well. Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends.

But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'. 

_{While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.}
And, on top of all that, when the bomb of me finding out about my untimely death dropped, I also discovered Uncle Xiao and his family were all moving abroad, and of it being unlikely that they would ever return. So, tell me the truth, if it were you, would you not have had the impulse to hightail it to your Mr. Perfect and say: I'm going to die soon, and you're going to leave soon, so can you sleep with me just this once?

While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.

_{This is why when Xiao Huaisu had walked out of the university, I was taking a squat next to the vendor's stall beside the gates as I took a bite of a sesame seed bun, and Li You was beside me eating her ice-cream. So as Xiao Huaisu walked out I simply pointed at him, holding back my slight excitement as I said to her: "You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, they look just like him!".}Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well. Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends.

This is why when Xiao Huaisu had walked out of the university, I was taking a squat next to the vendor's stall beside the gates as I took a bite of a sesame seed bun, and Li You was beside me eating her ice-cream. So as Xiao Huaisu walked out I simply pointed at him, holding back my slight excitement as I said to her: "You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, they look just like him!"

_{Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!}
Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.

Just so you know, the little brat I was back then had absolutely, positively, not one improper thought towards Xiao Huaisu—they were all perfectly pure!

_{While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.}I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.

_{But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood.}But don't you dare think, for one second, I regretted my decision back then. If I did regret it, wouldn't it be the same as denying Li You's existence, along with her arrival, and saying they were actually a mistake?

But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood. When we did finally get to know one another, I had just started junior high and Xiao Huaisu was already a college student. Li Zhi had asked Xiao Huaisu to tutor me when he returned home during the summer vacation, but due to him being busy with other things at the time, Li Zhi did not get his wish and I gained another summer vacation of freedom.

_{Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends. The teacher then informed me that Li You had gotten into a fight with at another kid at her school, and also that the matter was quite serious.}
But don't you dare think, for one second, I regretted my decision back then. If I did regret it, wouldn't it be the same as denying Li You's existence, along with her arrival, and saying they were actually a mistake?

Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends. The teacher then informed me that Li You had gotten into a fight with at another kid at her school, and also that the matter was quite serious. After the hits were given, she just screwed up her mouth and stared at me, turned around, then went back to her room in silence. After which she ended up ignoring me for a whole month! It scared me so much that I didn't dare use force to fix a problem after that. So if something did come up, like her being picky about her food, I'd usually persuade her patiently; saying how important it is for her to eat a balanced diet, and that eating her vegetables will make her grow tall as well as becoming a beautiful and smart little girl. Thankfully, even though my little Li You normally аsserts her independence, she would nevertheless heed my words, listening to some of it at least...

_{So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip".}Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends. The teacher then informed me that Li You had gotten into a fight with at another kid at her school, and also that the matter was quite serious. After the hits were given, she just screwed up her mouth and stared at me, turned around, then went back to her room in silence. After which she ended up ignoring me for a whole month! It scared me so much that I didn't dare use force to fix a problem after that. So if something did come up, like her being picky about her food, I'd usually persuade her patiently; saying how important it is for her to eat a balanced diet, and that eating her vegetables will make her grow tall as well as becoming a beautiful and smart little girl. Thankfully, even though my little Li You normally аsserts her independence, she would nevertheless heed my words, listening to some of it at least...

So the day my father had dragged me by the ear over to Uncle Xiao's place back then, my hair had been dyed violet, I had a pair of shiny black studs in each of my ears, the jeans I wore were ripped and the T-shirt I had on was so baggy it could fit two of me with room to spare; and on top of all that, a crucifix hung from my neck. So even though I was being dragged, I still thought that regardless of whomever I would appear before or wherever I was, this look of mine was "hip". And because I thought wearing stuff like that was "cool", when I saw Xiao Huaisu sitting on the sofa, wearing a white button-up, a pair of dress pants and a pair of silver-rimmed specs as he turned the page of a book as thick as a brick, I had thought there was not one bit of him that was cool. But, I could not deny that his facial features and his facial structure were just a teensy bit cooler than mine. However, this kind of upright and graceful handsomeness he possessed made the young and inexperienced me unable to describe such a thing, except for the feeling: this guy was so pretentious.

_{It was around this time when I had developed highly improper thoughts towards Xiao Huaisu.}
Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.

It was around this time when I had developed highly improper thoughts towards Xiao Huaisu.

_{"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.}The four years ago me once vowed to dye his hair seven times in different colours for each one, because he heard it could summon the dragon god, Shenlong. That's all a joke, obviously. It was actually just a stunt by the barbershop where they said if anyone dyed their hair seven times, in seven different colours, they'd award them with a free cut, wash and blow-dry for life! Now tell me the truth, if it were you, wouldn't you be interested? Well, it doesn't matter if you're not, because I was.

"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

_{If you went as far as to put this version of the now me in front of the me from four years ago, I'm sure he would've flipped the four years later version of me off and told me to get the fυсk outta his way. So Xiao Huaisu not recognising me is not one bit surprising.}
But before, there was no chance, and now an opportunity is right before us. Xiao Huaisu had returned—he had actually come back! It would go against my conscience if I didn't give Li You the chance to see him, and what's more, was the fact of that kid's mom being so darn incredible. How the heck could I not give her the chance to see it? To be honest, I'm really jealous of Li You. I mean, to have such an incredible dad like myself, plus, an extraordinary mother like him.

If you went as far as to put this version of the now me in front of the me from four years ago, I'm sure he would've flipped the four years later version of me off and told me to get the fυсk outta his way. So Xiao Huaisu not recognising me is not one bit surprising. Us being apart for four years is one reason, and me changing a whole lot is another; but that doesn't mean I'm not bummed out about it. And stuff like this made me unable to help but sigh at the simple fact that as time passes, things may remain the same, but people always change.

_{The loud bang of my book hitting the table frightened the students who were sleeping in the study, giving them quite a start—making them fear Professor Yan had arrived, as they each tore out a book one after the other trembling and scared shіtless, painstakingly trying to pretend they had been reading seriously all along. All the while as I, the main culprit, had already long fled without a trace.}Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.

The loud bang of my book hitting the table frightened the students who were sleeping in the study, giving them quite a start—making them fear Professor Yan had arrived, as they each tore out a book one after the other trembling and scared shіtless, painstakingly trying to pretend they had been reading seriously all along. All the while as I, the main culprit, had already long fled without a trace.

_{So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely.}
I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely. Even though my grades were not that...great, I got the feeling Li Zhi was only looking for a reason to restrain me and didn't want me to go mucking about with my friends. This made me not like Li Zhi back then, plus I had no patience for the likes of Xiao Huaisu either.

_{But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet.}While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.

But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet. That's why to a guy like Xiao Huaisu, I probably looked like a childish little brat still wet behind the ears, and the impression that I was a bit naughty probably stuck with him.

_{But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper.}Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper. I thought I was used to being all sad and depressed, but then the heavens decided to give me one fatal blow.

_N/A
On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.

N/A

_{Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."}"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

_{Thus, relying on my readings of all volumes of "How a Bad Guy is Made" and feeling that I, myself, was just like the protagonist, Xie Wendong, or similar to the Chan Honam in Teddy Boy: Young and Dangerous; with a seemingly refined and non-aggressive man like Xiao Huaisu, I felt we were nothing alike by the looks of him. However, facts have proven that looking refined on the outside, does not equal being refined on the inside.}
To make up for her being unhappy, today she was allowed a cone of ice-cream as a special treat.

Thus, relying on my readings of all volumes of "How a Bad Guy is Made" and feeling that I, myself, was just like the protagonist, Xie Wendong, or similar to the Chan Honam in Teddy Boy: Young and Dangerous; with a seemingly refined and non-aggressive man like Xiao Huaisu, I felt we were nothing alike by the looks of him. However, facts have proven that looking refined on the outside, does not equal being refined on the inside. And never in a thousand years had I thought that this refined looking guy, would actually completely suppress me—a guy who went to a Buddhist Temple for specialized wushu (martial arts) training as a lay disciple for six months. Furthermore, while I was oppressed, I also felt his moves were as cool as the wulin masters in movies each time he overpowered me. But, at the same time, I was very disappointed in wushu since I was defeated by a taekwondo student; having not one trace of awareness in the deficiencies within my own learning.

_{But before, there was no chance, and now an opportunity is right before us. Xiao Huaisu had returned—he had actually come back! It would go against my conscience if I didn't give Li You the chance to see him, and what's more, was the fact of that kid's mom being so darn incredible.}
This is why when Xiao Huaisu had walked out of the university, I was taking a squat next to the vendor's stall beside the gates as I took a bite of a sesame seed bun, and Li You was beside me eating her ice-cream. So as Xiao Huaisu walked out I simply pointed at him, holding back my slight excitement as I said to her: "You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, they look just like him!"

But before, there was no chance, and now an opportunity is right before us. Xiao Huaisu had returned—he had actually come back! It would go against my conscience if I didn't give Li You the chance to see him, and what's more, was the fact of that kid's mom being so darn incredible. How the heck could I not give her the chance to see it? To be honest, I'm really jealous of Li You. I mean, to have such an incredible dad like myself, plus, an extraordinary mother like him.

_{But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood.}
Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"

But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood. When we did finally get to know one another, I had just started junior high and Xiao Huaisu was already a college student. Li Zhi had asked Xiao Huaisu to tutor me when he returned home during the summer vacation, but due to him being busy with other things at the time, Li Zhi did not get his wish and I gained another summer vacation of freedom.

_{To make up for her being unhappy, today she was allowed a cone of ice-cream as a special treat.}
The bite of bun I took stuck in my throat, almost choking me to death, making me have to hit my chest a few times. Even though I thought her point of interest is a bit prejudiced, I still had a serious discussion with her on the way she looked at things. "Even if your mother looks like a man, that man is still a handsome man."

To make up for her being unhappy, today she was allowed a cone of ice-cream as a special treat.

_{But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper.}Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well. Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends.

But with the kind of young man I was back then, how could I let that person know of my somewhat perverse and dirty thoughts? Actually, my original plan was to act as a lovelorn youth and lick my emotional wounds from its impossibility in secret. I also grew tired of the fighting life around that time as well, where I had even began to submerge myself in grief-ridden writings—to the point where I had begun writing my own prose, with some even getting published in the school newspaper. I thought I was used to being all sad and depressed, but then the heavens decided to give me one fatal blow.

_{Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"}
"Oh... so you have a thing for handsome women then?" Li You and the bun vendor aunty both looked at me meaningfully.

Li You knitted her brows, her face serious as she gave Xiao Huaisu a good once over, then asked: "My mum looks like a man?"

_{You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!}Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.

You wanted to know what your mum looked like, right? Well, she looks exactly like him!

_{So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely.}But if you asked me to describe him now, the are two phrases Da Zhang had used earlier which were truly befitting for someone like him: 'elegant and cultured' and 'a blossoming talent'. 

So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely. Even though my grades were not that...great, I got the feeling Li Zhi was only looking for a reason to restrain me and didn't want me to go mucking about with my friends. This made me not like Li Zhi back then, plus I had no patience for the likes of Xiao Huaisu either.

_{Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.}
"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

Speaking of that obedient, sensible, precocious and reserved daughter of mine, I actually feel some guilt towards her. All she wants to know is what her mother looks like, yet I find every which way and how to dodge her questions.

_{Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale.}
The bun vendor aunty nodded to me, saying, "Understood, " before continuing to cook her buns.

Uncle Xiao and Li Zhi, my dad, were old war buddies, you see. And I even once heard that my dad had taken a bullet for Uncle Xiao, but I honestly thought my dad was just exaggerating with such a tale. In these peaceful times, where would a situation calling for a bullet to be blocked even occur. Thus, when I levied a challenge of this account upon Li Zhi, that brilliant young man that I was, was of course whipped like a fool by that man, so much so, I was practically flying as I fled to school for a few days following the incident. Afterwards, I naturally found out there were more than enough chances or one to catch astray bullet in these peaceful times. However, the average Joe wouldn't be aware of that; and, to be real, when when I was a sixteen-seventeen year old, I really did think Li Zhi was just blowing smoke when he said he took that bullet for Uncle Xiao. Plus, back then, I was still in my rebellious teenager years, and was one who refused to give in and who couldn't see past my own second-year syndrome phase of youthful arrogance as well.

_N/A So when Li Zhi had then dragged me by the ear and tossed me over to the Xiao household once more, I was already a senior high school student, and Xiao Huaisu was a graduate student studying abroad. Upon his return to visit his parents during the summer vacation, Li Zhi had seized the opportunity to again ask Xiao Huaisu to tutor me, and prevented me from going out freely. Even though my grades were not that...great, I got the feeling Li Zhi was only looking for a reason to restrain me and didn't want me to go mucking about with my friends. This made me not like Li Zhi back then, plus I had no patience for the likes of Xiao Huaisu either.

N/A

_{I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.}N/A

I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

_{I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.}
While Li You again turned her attention to her ice-cream cone, leaving me as the only one eagerly watching Xiao Huaisu's departing figure, and having no idea when the filling from my bun had fallen out.

I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

_{And, on top of all that, when the bomb of me finding out about my untimely death dropped, I also discovered Uncle Xiao and his family were all moving abroad, and of it being unlikely that they would ever return. So, tell me the truth, if it were you, would you not have had the impulse to hightail it to your Mr.}I just had to let Li You see him, and since we both went to the same A-University, seeing each other was super easy after all.

And, on top of all that, when the bomb of me finding out about my untimely death dropped, I also discovered Uncle Xiao and his family were all moving abroad, and of it being unlikely that they would ever return. So, tell me the truth, if it were you, would you not have had the impulse to hightail it to your Mr. Perfect and say: I'm going to die soon, and you're going to leave soon, so can you sleep with me just this once?

_{This move of Li You deeply upset me, making me suffer many direct strikes, and led me to seriously mull over the situation. Now I had no way of explaining to her she misunderstood and it was not at all the way she imagined it to be.}To make up for her being unhappy, today she was allowed a cone of ice-cream as a special treat.

This move of Li You deeply upset me, making me suffer many direct strikes, and led me to seriously mull over the situation. Now I had no way of explaining to her she misunderstood and it was not at all the way she imagined it to be. So, in the end, I had to go along with her. Go along with her while also consoling myself and waiting for the day she got a little older in order to be able to understand this was all a misunderstanding—a huge misunderstanding.

_{After all that, Xiao Huaisu went abroad for college, which made it harder for us to see each other and meeting one another was rare. So by the time I got into senior high, that hard to come by spec of a friendship we managed to have was already long flung from my mind.}
Later, because of this incident, Li You misunderstood my choice in partners—uh... no, more like she had a misunderstanding about her mother. This misunderstanding reared its head every time she would see a short-haired, masculine-dressed woman on the TV or computer, leading her to say to me: "Look! It's your type."

After all that, Xiao Huaisu went abroad for college, which made it harder for us to see each other and meeting one another was rare. So by the time I got into senior high, that hard to come by spec of a friendship we managed to have was already long flung from my mind.

_{But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet.}If you went as far as to put this version of the now me in front of the me from four years ago, I'm sure he would've flipped the four years later version of me off and told me to get the fυсk outta his way. So Xiao Huaisu not recognising me is not one bit surprising. Us being apart for four years is one reason, and me changing a whole lot is another; but that doesn't mean I'm not bummed out about it. And stuff like this made me unable to help but sigh at the simple fact that as time passes, things may remain the same, but people always change.

But when the time for winter vacation rolled around, I was flung over to the Xiao household by Li Zhi. For the record, my senior high school days were when I started acting rebellious, so as a junior high school student, I had not dyed my hair or gotten any piercings as yet. That's why to a guy like Xiao Huaisu, I probably looked like a childish little brat still wet behind the ears, and the impression that I was a bit naughty probably stuck with him.

_{"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.}But even though Uncle Xiao and my dad were war buddies as well as really good friends, and despite our houses being in the same neighbourhood, Xiao Huaisu and I—because of us being a few years apart in age—naturally never hung out together; neither did the chance for us to hang out together ever come up. The little brat I was had not one smidgen of interest in hanging out with a guy who studied and did his homework, I was way more interested in the recreational facilities in our neighbourhood. When we did finally get to know one another, I had just started junior high and Xiao Huaisu was already a college student. Li Zhi had asked Xiao Huaisu to tutor me when he returned home during the summer vacation, but due to him being busy with other things at the time, Li Zhi did not get his wish and I gained another summer vacation of freedom.

"No, what I meant was, if that man was a woman, he would be a beautiful woman, and therefore, your mom is a very beautiful woman. You understand, right?" I took another bite of my bun, my eyes glued to Xiao Huaisu.

_{But don't you dare think, for one second, I regretted my decision back then. If I did regret it, wouldn't it be the same as denying Li You's existence, along with her arrival, and saying they were actually a mistake?}
This move of Li You's deeply upset me, making me suffer many direct strikes, and led me to seriously mull over the situation. Now I had no way of explaining to her she misunderstood and it was not at all the way she imagined it to be. So, in the end, I had to go along with her. Go along with her while also consoling myself and waiting for the day she got a little older in order to be able to understand this was all a misunderstanding—a huge misunderstanding.

But don't you dare think, for one second, I regretted my decision back then. If I did regret it, wouldn't it be the same as denying Li You's existence, along with her arrival, and saying they were actually a mistake?

_{On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.}Me saying all this, by the way, was my way of wanting to explain that my dad and Uncle Xiao were exceptionally good friends. The teacher then informed me that Li You had gotten into a fight with at another kid at her school, and also that the matter was quite serious. After the hits were given, she just screwed up her mouth and stared at me, turned around, then went back to her room in silence. After which she ended up ignoring me for a whole month! It scared me so much that I didn't dare use force to fix a problem after that. So if something did come up, like her being picky about her food, I'd usually persuade her patiently; saying how important it is for her to eat a balanced diet, and that eating her vegetables will make her grow tall as well as becoming a beautiful and smart little girl. Thankfully, even though my little Li You normally аsserts her independence, she would nevertheless heed my words, listening to some of it at least...

On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.

_{On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.}Just imagine how utterly depressed I would've been back then, yet, at the same time, being the dutiful son I was, I did not have it in me to tell Li Zhi nor the beautiful Madam Lee Moli (my mom) of my incurable illness, fearing this pair—having no way to accept the news of their handsome, mateless, son being at death's door—would have their hair instantly turn white as their faces became awashed with tears. When I think back of this time, I'm still moved to tears by my own otherworldly act of filial piety.

On the day I went to pick up Li You, she was not at all enthused when I arrived because she really liked her English teacher, and today was the day of their class when I came to get her so she couldn't attend.

---

Author's Note:

N/A

Notes:

Tiny note: About his mom (Lee Moli), her last name is also Li but a different character Lǐ (李) which is why I used Lee for her last name.
黎:Lí - is for Li Zhi/Tian/You.

^1. 《坏蛋是怎样炼成的》: How Bad Guys are Made. It is a book series that chronicles how some bullied nerdy dude grew up to be the murderous crime boss. You can find the online raws by searching the title if you're interested, over 1000 total chapters for both volumes. You can find it on some {"un"} legal sites, and the volumes are still available for purchase.

^2. 古惑仔 is a long-аss manhua series (started in the 90s) called "古惑仔teddyboy"; turned 90s Hong Kong gangster movie series (Young and Dangerous). Chan Honam (陈浩南) is the MC of this series. The first movie is on Netflix (Young and Dangerous), the Official English Version was here on comixology but it's gone now, and most of the raw manhua is here. It is a long-аss series with over 2000 chapters.

^3. A lay disciple is someone who does not have to abide by the tenets of Buddhism despite being a follower of the martial arts and whatnot at a temple.

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