UD: C08 - CN Translations
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UD: C08

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I'll never play fight the landlord again!


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C08_never play fight the landloard.png

This novel was posted on cntranslationss [dot] blogsp0t [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get  ̄へ ̄)


I replied to Li You: "Stop making crazy аssumptions. Your Uncle Xiao is not a woman."

Which is why Qiao Damai heard me from the bathroom and responded: "I was already planning to leave after dinner and waiting for the rain to stop. Is that okay with you?"

The fudge...

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"


Li You let out a very nonchalant oh, clasping both hands behind her back as she took her sweet time twirling around before returning to the living room. Once there, I caught a glimpse of her dragging her book bag into the study.

"Right after they left, there wasn't that much contact," Li Zhi slid the finished cut veggies off to the side, then continued to slice up some meat, "but we still managed to keep in touch."

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.

Seeing me bringing out the tea, he made his way back to the sofa and sat back down.


After I made the tea and carried it back out, Xiao Huaisu was standing in front of the French windows, looking at the rain pouring outside.

While I was in the kitchen, spatula in hand, I heard Qiao Damai shout excitedly from the living room: "Hahaha, I'm the landlord now! You guys are so dead!"


Seeing me bringing out the tea, he made his way back to the sofa and sat back down.

Because it was soaked by the rain, the hair of his wig divided into strands that made it look like he had a bowl of wet noodles stuck to his head and face. So when he just asked me if he was handsome, I really wanted to not give him an answer, but also really wanted to give him one at the same time.


But before I got the chance to go talk with Xiao Huaisu about every random thing I could come up with while trying to get his WeChat contact info on the sly, the doorbell—showing no regard for the situation—began ringing. Who the heck could that be!

I pulled out the slice of radish I had stuck in my nose, mechanically preparing to stick it in my mouth. Having just about enough of me, Li Zhi couldn't stand it anymore and ruthlessly drove me from the kitchen.


Just as I opened the door, a huge unknown creature came in from outside.

Qiao Damai's tone reeked of hidden bitterness: "I'm never playing fight the landlord again."

Later, Li You came back out after finishing her homework to meet the three of us playing fight the landlord. Xiao Huaisu was the landlord and Qiao Damai and I were the peasants. We both swore we would overthrow this landlord, because he already mad us peasants ten times in a row! Not once did our rebellions garner us a victory, every time there was a battle, we were always hopelessly crushed without an ounce of mercy. It was an unbearable thing to witness, and more tragic than anything in existence.

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)


"Holy hell, I got soaked to the bone real quick! Good thing I wasn't far from your place, huh!" After the unknown creature lifted its head, I realised that silver-haired, black coat wearing guy was Qiao Damai.

Hearing him, I could only think to myself how Qiao Damai couldn't see the entire situation clearly at all. Before, he at least had a helper beside him, but now he doesn't have anyone, and that father-daughter pair uniting makes him and isolated and unassisted landlord. Is it even a game at that point?


Shocked, I asked: "Since when have you been into cosplay?" Watching him all dripping wet as he changed out his shoes beside me then walk inside, he replied as we went in: "Ain't I handsome? Anyway, it's because there's a friend in our club who's into this kind of stuff. I just got roped into temporarily filling in a missing spot by him."

Me: "..." I gave Qiao Damai a sympathetic look, but that dear classmate of mine couldn't even see it through his scribble and strip covered face.

Qiao Damai did not doubt this statement at all.

When I walked Xiao Huaisu to the door, after going over it over and over in my head, I finally asked him: "Professor, what's your WeChat ID? I don't have any cash on me, so maybe I could just send you back the money via WeChat later. I'll also have your clothes cleaned and return them to you. I'll wash them to be exactly like they were before too, so don't worry!"

Is this what having all your hopes smashed to smithereens feels like? I lifted the slice of radish, while looking at Li Zhi utterly stupefied, not daring to believe what I just heard.

"Anyways," I continued to ask inadvertently—deliberately—ignoring those distasteful words, "Are you and Uncle Xiao still in contact with one another? It's been a long time since we've seen them, so how are they doing abroad?"


Because it was soaked by the rain, the hair of his wig divided into strands that made it look like he had a bowl of wet noodles stuck to his head and face. So when he just asked me if he was handsome, I really wanted to not give him an answer, but also really wanted to give him one at the same time.

This is him about to leave?! I didn't even get to him for his WeChat info as yet! Just in the nick of time I smacked the table, cutting him off before saying with an abnormal amount of gusto: "You can't leave, have dinner with us! You already saw how late it is, so if you went back home now you'd have to make dinner yourself." My voice was a bit louder than needed because I was so anxious.


Grabbing hold of his hair, he parted it down the middle then tucked the two sides behind each ear before confidently, and coolly, making his way to the bathroom of his own volition. "I'll just take your silence as your jealousy towards my handsomeness then."

In a flash, I put on an almost weeping expression, covering my heart with my hands in an attempt to use a pitiful pretence to gain his sympathy before shamelessly asking for his contact information again. Thus, broken-heartedly, I then asked: "But why..." I was well aware this look of mine would have a hard time competing for an Oscar, but it being in the running for a Hundred Flower Award was entirely doable, it be just perfect for the best actor nomination. But as I thought about this, I couldn't help from sighing at the same time. Sighing for the eyes of those talent scouts not being good enough to discover a diamond in the rough like moi, who would've surely been a new star on the rise.

Qiao Damai did not doubt this statement at all.

After noticing Li You was done with her homework, I swiftly chose to abandon Qiao Damai, saying to her: "Li You, come help dad fight while I go prepare dinner!" If I kept playing I was afraid all my confidence would be lost, making it so I'd never want to play this game again. Wouldn't that mean I would end up loosing a good recreational activity that kills time like this? No, I refuse to let such a thing happen.

Xiao Huaisu placed his cup down on the table. Did he think I was tactfully trying to tell him to leave? He then looked at me and said: "It's getting late so I..."

I left them with no worries. Li You started playing fight the landlord with Li Zhi and Madam Lee Moli at the age of two. Her two years of experience was more than enough to be on par with my current skills, so leaving her to team up with Qiao Damai shouldn't be an issue.


Jeez, that kind of self-confidence he had brimming from within really made onlookers like me seriously not want to look at it directly. But because that "handsome" Qiao Damai fella was so absorbed in his own "handsomeness", he completely missed Xiao Huaisu who was sitting on the sofa.

Seeing me bringing out the tea, he made his way back to the sofa and sat back down.


Not that long afterwards, Qiao Damai bellowed from inside the bathroom: "Holy sh&1110;t! Who the hell is this ugly аss dude!"

"Holy hell, I got soaked to the bone real quick! Good thing I wasn't far from your place, huh!" After the unknown creature lifted its head, I realised that silver-haired, black coat wearing guy was Qiao Damai.


I was already considering whether or not I should just lock his butt in there and not letting him out until after I talk with Xiao Huaisu about random stuff, ask for his WeChat, and have a candlelit dinner with him too. Having a friend like Qiao Damai can seriously affect my good image!

It was utterly HOPELESS.

Without giving it a second thought, Xiao Huaisu replied: "There's no need to."

Maybe I should switch my approach and try a different angle?


I mulled over everything again and again, then remembered that the lock on the bathroom door was broken, ruining my plan to lock in Qiao Damai as well as making me feel regretful.

Shocked, I asked: "Since when have you been into cosplay?" Watching him all dripping wet as he changed out his shoes beside me then walk inside, he replied as we went in: "Ain't I handsome? Anyway, it's because there's a friend in our club who's into this kind of stuff. I just got roped into temporarily filling in a missing spot by him."

Just as I opened the door, a huge unknown creature came in from outside.

This was embarrassing.

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)

When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.


In an effort to make random conversation, I looked outside and said: "It seems like the rain is letting up now." The moment I said those words, I regretted it. This was the perfect opportunity to cultivate a good mood, and it was actually shoved right out the window by my very own hands? Am I an idiot?

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

Why is his moments timeline so dull?

I pulled out the slice of radish I had stuck in my nose, mechanically preparing to stick it in my mouth. Having just about enough of me, Li Zhi couldn't stand it anymore and ruthlessly drove me from the kitchen.

I left them with no worries. Li You started playing fight the landlord with Li Zhi and Madam Lee Moli at the age of two. Her two years of experience was more than enough to be on par with my current skills, so leaving her to team up with Qiao Damai shouldn't be an issue.

Li Zhi turned his head and shot me a look, before continuing to cut some vegetables, "Your mother just recently joined a dance troupe to get some exercise, where would we find the time to go somewhere abroad? Don't you know that right now she's the vice-captain of that dance troupe? She's the backbone of that troupe, and there are many things she has to do there, completely opposite the likes of you. When you were in school all you did was waste time idling away. Was there any difference between us raising you with us raising a pig?" Why do you have to exalt your wife while mercilessly stepping on your son in the same vein, huh?


Xiao Huaisu placed his cup down on the table. Did he think I was tactfully trying to tell him to leave? He then looked at me and said: "It's getting late so I..."

Why is his moments timeline so dull?

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

Qiao Damai's tone reeked of hidden bitterness: "I'm never playing fight the landlord again."


This is him about to leave?! I didn't even get to him for his WeChat info as yet! Just in the nick of time I smacked the table, cutting him off before saying with an abnormal amount of gusto: "You can't leave, have dinner with us! You already saw how late it is, so if you went back home now you'd have to make dinner yourself." My voice was a bit louder than needed because I was so anxious.

I picked up a slice of radish from nearby, chewing on it, while listening to him.


Which is why Qiao Damai heard me from the bathroom and responded: "I was already planning to leave after dinner and waiting for the rain to stop. Is that okay with you?"

"Wow... your life these days is far too monotonous. Other than going to this park and that park, have you ever thought about going on a trip abroad?"

"Wow... your life these days is far too monotonous. Other than going to this park and that park, have you ever thought about going on a trip abroad?"

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)

When I saw Li You sitting on the sofa in the living room, the sudden need to cry in commemoration my prematurely lost love overtook me. But seeing the old and young ones in the room, fearing I would scare them, I decided to bear it instead. However, doing so made me feel sadder all the more.

Later, Li You came back out after finishing her homework to meet the three of us playing fight the landlord. Xiao Huaisu was the landlord and Qiao Damai and I were the peasants. We both swore we would overthrow this landlord, because he already mad us peasants ten times in a row! Not once did our rebellions garner us a victory, every time there was a battle, we were always hopelessly crushed without an ounce of mercy. It was an unbearable thing to witness, and more tragic than anything in existence.


I snapped my head in the direction of the bathroom, yelling: "Who asked you! Don't interrupt me!" Then snapped it back to face Xiao Huaisu.

This was embarrassing.


Xiao Huaisu's gaze was pointed towards the bathroom for a while, the look in his eyes as he stared, indecipherable. Well, a lot of the expressions in his eyes were indecipherable, and I chose not to look at the things I couldn't discern. After hearing my words, he gave a nonchalant nod, then uttered a faint "okay" in response.

Then when a proper moment came, I asked him: "Why's mom wearing a facial mask this early in the morning?"

But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!

"Alright, got it—" Apart from Li Zhi, who else would issue such a booming response.


From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!

Because it was soaked by the rain, the hair of his wig divided into strands that made it look like he had a bowl of wet noodles stuck to his head and face. So when he just asked me if he was handsome, I really wanted to not give him an answer, but also really wanted to give him one at the same time.

Without giving it a second thought, Xiao Huaisu replied: "There's no need to."


When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.

When I walked Xiao Huaisu to the door, after going over it over and over in my head, I finally asked him: "Professor, what's your WeChat ID? I don't have any cash on me, so maybe I could just send you back the money via WeChat later. I'll also have your clothes cleaned and return them to you. I'll wash them to be exactly like they were before too, so don't worry!"

In a flash, I put on an almost weeping expression, covering my heart with my hands in an attempt to use a pitiful pretence to gain his sympathy before shamelessly asking for his contact information again. Thus, broken-heartedly, I then asked: "But why..." I was well aware this look of mine would have a hard time competing for an Oscar, but it being in the running for a Hundred Flower Award was entirely doable, it be just perfect for the best actor nomination. But as I thought about this, I couldn't help from sighing at the same time. Sighing for the eyes of those talent scouts not being good enough to discover a diamond in the rough like moi, who would've surely been a new star on the rise.

When I walked Xiao Huaisu to the door, after going over it over and over in my head, I finally asked him: "Professor, what's your WeChat ID? I don't have any cash on me, so maybe I could just send you back the money via WeChat later. I'll also have your clothes cleaned and return them to you. I'll wash them to be exactly like they were before too, so don't worry!"

Xiao Huaisu placed his cup down on the table. Did he think I was tactfully trying to tell him to leave? He then looked at me and said: "It's getting late so I..."

Not that long afterwards, Qiao Damai bellowed from inside the bathroom: "Holy sh&1110;t! Who the hell is this ugly аss dude!"


Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.

What kind of mother asks "what are you doing here" upon seeing their own kid? Rolling my eyes, I led Li You inside, asking while changing my shoes: "I just missed you guys. Is it so wrong for me to come see you?"


To that ever growing confused expression on Qiao Damai's face, I—wearing an incomparable resolute and upright expression—explained: "It was raining on our way back and Professor Xiao happened to drive by, giving Li You and I a ride back here."

I snapped my head in the direction of the bathroom, yelling: "Who asked you! Don't interrupt me!" Then snapped it back to face Xiao Huaisu.


Qiao Damai did not doubt this statement at all.

There's no need to? What does that even mean? Does he not want to give me his WeChat contact info?

This was embarrassing.

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

In a flash, I put on an almost weeping expression, covering my heart with my hands in an attempt to use a pitiful pretence to gain his sympathy before shamelessly asking for his contact information again. Thus, broken-heartedly, I then asked: "But why..." I was well aware this look of mine would have a hard time competing for an Oscar, but it being in the running for a Hundred Flower Award was entirely doable, it be just perfect for the best actor nomination. But as I thought about this, I couldn't help from sighing at the same time. Sighing for the eyes of those talent scouts not being good enough to discover a diamond in the rough like moi, who would've surely been a new star on the rise.


Later, Li You came back out after finishing her homework to meet the three of us playing fight the landlord. Xiao Huaisu was the landlord and Qiao Damai and I were the peasants. We both swore we would overthrow this landlord, because he already mad us peasants ten times in a row! Not once did our rebellions garner us a victory, every time there was a battle, we were always hopelessly crushed without an ounce of mercy. It was an unbearable thing to witness, and more tragic than anything in existence.

To that ever growing confused expression on Qiao Damai's face, I—wearing an incomparable resolute and upright expression—explained: "It was raining on our way back and Professor Xiao happened to drive by, giving Li You and I a ride back here."

Jeez, that kind of self-confidence he had brimming from within really made onlookers like me seriously not want to look at it directly. But because that "handsome" Qiao Damai fella was so absorbed in his own "handsomeness", he completely missed Xiao Huaisu who was sitting on the sofa.

I mulled over everything again and again, then remembered that the lock on the bathroom door was broken, ruining my plan to lock in Qiao Damai as well as making me feel regretful.


After noticing Li You was done with her homework, I swiftly chose to abandon Qiao Damai, saying to her: "Li You, come help dad fight while I go prepare dinner!" If I kept playing I was afraid all my confidence would be lost, making it so I'd never want to play this game again. Wouldn't that mean I would end up loosing a good recreational activity that kills time like this? No, I refuse to let such a thing happen.

Jeez, that kind of self-confidence he had brimming from within really made onlookers like me seriously not want to look at it directly. But because that "handsome" Qiao Damai fella was so absorbed in his own "handsomeness", he completely missed Xiao Huaisu who was sitting on the sofa.


I left them with no worries. Li You started playing fight the landlord with Li Zhi and Madam Lee Moli at the age of two. Her two years of experience was more than enough to be on par with my current skills, so leaving her to team up with Qiao Damai shouldn't be an issue.

"Nangong Park in the south, Beigong Park in the north, Central Park, etc..."


While I was in the kitchen, spatula in hand, I heard Qiao Damai shout excitedly from the living room: "Hahaha, I'm the landlord now! You guys are so dead!"

With a few more casual flicks I had already scrolled to the end. In a whole month he only had a few moments posted? And they weren't even about his personal life at that. How is any of this supposed to help me know anything about that charming prince of mine?

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

Xiao Huaisu's gaze was pointed towards the bathroom for a while, the look in his eyes as he stared, indecipherable. Well, a lot of the expressions in his eyes were indecipherable, and I chose not to look at the things I couldn't discern. After hearing my words, he gave a nonchalant nod, then uttered a faint "okay" in response.

Hearing him, I could only think to myself how Qiao Damai couldn't see the entire situation clearly at all. Before, he at least had a helper beside him, but now he doesn't have anyone, and that father-daughter pair uniting makes him and isolated and unassisted landlord. Is it even a game at that point?

I picked up a slice of radish from nearby, chewing on it, while listening to him.


Hearing him, I could only think to myself how Qiao Damai couldn't see the entire situation clearly at all. Before, he at least had a helper beside him, but now he doesn't have anyone, and that father-daughter pair uniting makes him and isolated and unassisted landlord. Is it even a game at that point?

"Anyways," I continued to ask inadvertently—deliberately—ignoring those distasteful words, "Are you and Uncle Xiao still in contact with one another? It's been a long time since we've seen them, so how are they doing abroad?"

But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!

Li Zhi saw that I hadn't said a word, so he turned around to look at me, facepalming as he said: "Where are you trying to stick that piece of radish, huh?"


By the time I ran into the living room to announce dinner was ready to the three inside, every inch of Qiao Damai's face was covered with strips of paper. When he turned to me, not one part of his face could be seen through the strips at all, prompting me to ask in amazement: "Weren't we supposed to draw on the loser's face? Why did you all switch to sticking paper strips?"

After we were inside, she said to the old man bustling about in the kitchen: "Li Zhi, make us another egg custard, Youyou's here."


Qiao Damai's tone reeked of hidden bitterness: "I'm never playing fight the landlord again."

Qiao Damai did not doubt this statement at all.

With a few more casual flicks I had already scrolled to the end. In a whole month he only had a few moments posted? And they weren't even about his personal life at that. How is any of this supposed to help me know anything about that charming prince of mine?

Following a bit of muttering, Lee Moli no longer acknowledged me to instead lead, the just finished changing her shoes, Li You inside by the hand. Ah, there was a pang in my heart. Couldn't you take this adorable son of yours by the hand too?


Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."

"Alright, got it—" Apart from Li Zhi, who else would issue such a booming response.

"Anyways," I continued to ask inadvertently—deliberately—ignoring those distasteful words, "Are you and Uncle Xiao still in contact with one another? It's been a long time since we've seen them, so how are they doing abroad?"

Li You let out a very nonchalant oh, clasping both hands behind her back as she took her sweet time twirling around before returning to the living room. Once there, I caught a glimpse of her dragging her book bag into the study.

Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."

With a few more casual flicks I had already scrolled to the end. In a whole month he only had a few moments posted? And they weren't even about his personal life at that. How is any of this supposed to help me know anything about that charming prince of mine?


Me: "..." I gave Qiao Damai a sympathetic look, but that dear classmate of mine couldn't even see it through his scribble and strip covered face.

After I made the tea and carried it back out, Xiao Huaisu was standing in front of the French windows, looking at the rain pouring outside.

There's not even one pic?

Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."

I replied to Li You: "Stop making crazy аssumptions. Your Uncle Xiao is not a woman."

What kind of mother asks "what are you doing here" upon seeing their own kid? Rolling my eyes, I led Li You inside, asking while changing my shoes: "I just missed you guys. Is it so wrong for me to come see you?"


Once he was done with dinner, Qiao Damai, long haunted by the shadow of his defeat, swiftly grabbed his bag pack and fled. Probably never to return to this sad place again.

Li Zhi saw that I hadn't said a word, so he turned around to look at me, facepalming as he said: "Where are you trying to stick that piece of radish, huh?"

Jeez, that kind of self-confidence he had brimming from within really made onlookers like me seriously not want to look at it directly. But because that "handsome" Qiao Damai fella was so absorbed in his own "handsomeness", he completely missed Xiao Huaisu who was sitting on the sofa.

This was embarrassing.


When I walked Xiao Huaisu to the door, after going over it over and over in my head, I finally asked him: "Professor, what's your WeChat ID? I don't have any cash on me, so maybe I could just send you back the money via WeChat later. I'll also have your clothes cleaned and return them to you. I'll wash them to be exactly like they were before too, so don't worry!"

Perhaps it was due to this being my first time coming over so early in the morning, because when Lee Moli came to open the door, with a facial mask still spread over her face, she аssumed I was the milk man. And even though I couldn't see her expression all that clearly, the shocked look in her eyes still came through.


Without giving it a second thought, Xiao Huaisu replied: "There's no need to."

"What are you doing here?"


There's no need to? What does that even mean? Does he not want to give me his WeChat contact info?

In an effort to make random conversation, I looked outside and said: "It seems like the rain is letting up now." The moment I said those words, I regretted it. This was the perfect opportunity to cultivate a good mood, and it was actually shoved right out the window by my very own hands? Am I an idiot?

In an effort to make random conversation, I looked outside and said: "It seems like the rain is letting up now." The moment I said those words, I regretted it. This was the perfect opportunity to cultivate a good mood, and it was actually shoved right out the window by my very own hands? Am I an idiot?

Then when a proper moment came, I asked him: "Why's mom wearing a facial mask this early in the morning?"


In a flash, I put on an almost weeping expression, covering my heart with my hands in an attempt to use a pitiful pretence to gain his sympathy before shamelessly asking for his contact information again. Thus, broken-heartedly, I then asked: "But why..." I was well aware this look of mine would have a hard time competing for an Oscar, but it being in the running for a Hundred Flower Award[1] was entirely doable, it be just perfect for the best actor nomination. But as I thought about this, I couldn't help from sighing at the same time. Sighing for the eyes of those talent scouts not being good enough to discover a diamond in the rough like moi, who would've surely been a new star on the rise.

Just as I opened the door, a huge unknown creature came in from outside.


From inside, Li You, who had been playing with my phone, hopped off the sofa to stand beside the table then say: "Dad, I already added Uncle Xiao for you while you were making dinner."

Xiao Huaisu placed his cup down on the table. Did he think I was tactfully trying to tell him to leave? He then looked at me and said: "It's getting late so I..."


This was embarrassing.

I mulled over everything again and again, then remembered that the lock on the bathroom door was broken, ruining my plan to lock in Qiao Damai as well as making me feel regretful.

For example, maybe I should go sniff out some info about the goings on of the Xiao family from Li Zhi? So without any hesitation, I took Li You and rushed over to her grandparent's house the next day with a spring in my step.

When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.


Embarrassed, I sent Xiao Huaisu off, closed the door, then dashed over to Li You and took the phone—after first giving that child of mine my solemn gratitude of course, before moving on to undertake my reconnaissance mission of browsing through my Mr. Perfect's Moments[2]timeline.

The fudge...

To that ever growing confused expression on Qiao Damai's face, I—wearing an incomparable resolute and upright expression—explained: "It was raining on our way back and Professor Xiao happened to drive by, giving Li You and I a ride back here."

"All of your Uncle Xiao's boys are married... Oh, by the way, what are you planning on doing, huh? Aunty Hou told you there was girl she'd like to introduce you to when you met her last, so you have to go meet her, alright. You know you can't keep raising Youyou on your own forever, right? You've already been in college for four years, and you're gonna be working right after you graduate. When you start being busy at work, do you think you can keep looking after Youyou like you are right now?"


The fudge...

Not that long afterwards, Qiao Damai bellowed from inside the bathroom: "Holy sh&1110;t! Who the hell is this ugly аss dude!"

By the time I ran into the living room to announce dinner was ready to the three inside, every inch of Qiao Damai's face was covered with strips of paper. When he turned to me, not one part of his face could be seen through the strips at all, prompting me to ask in amazement: "Weren't we supposed to draw on the loser's face? Why did you all switch to sticking paper strips?"

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.


Why is his moments timeline so dull?

I'll never play fight the landlord again!

I mulled over everything again and again, then remembered that the lock on the bathroom door was broken, ruining my plan to lock in Qiao Damai as well as making me feel regretful.

When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.


There's not even one pic?

Later, Li You came back out after finishing her homework to meet the three of us playing fight the landlord. Xiao Huaisu was the landlord and Qiao Damai and I were the peasants. We both swore we would overthrow this landlord, because he already mad us peasants ten times in a row! Not once did our rebellions garner us a victory, every time there was a battle, we were always hopelessly crushed without an ounce of mercy. It was an unbearable thing to witness, and more tragic than anything in existence.

It was utterly HOPELESS.

"Right after they left, there wasn't that much contact," Li Zhi slid the finished cut veggies off to the side, then continued to slice up some meat, "but we still managed to keep in touch."

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

Leaving the grandmother-granddaughter pair to their chat in the living room, I sauntered into the kitchen, then with a grand degree of filial piety, gave аssistance to my old comrade Li Zhi in the kitchen. Cutting scallions, cracking eggs, adding salt, soy sauce and whatnot, all in complete unison with my old comrade Li Zhi.


With a few more casual flicks I had already scrolled to the end. In a whole month he only had a few moments posted? And they weren't even about his personal life at that. How is any of this supposed to help me know anything about that charming prince of mine?

Grabbing hold of his hair, he parted it down the middle then tucked the two sides behind each ear before confidently, and coolly, making his way to the bathroom of his own volition. "I'll just take your silence as your jealousy towards my handsomeness then."

Embarrassed, I sent Xiao Huaisu off, closed the door, then dashed over to Li You and took the phone—after first giving that child of mine my solemn gratitude of course, before moving on to undertake my reconnaissance mission of browsing through my Mr. Perfect's Momentstimeline.

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"

From inside, Li You, who had been playing with my phone, hopped off the sofa to stand beside the table then say: "Dad, I already added Uncle Xiao for you while you were making dinner."

I mulled over everything again and again, then remembered that the lock on the bathroom door was broken, ruining my plan to lock in Qiao Damai as well as making me feel regretful.


It was utterly HOPELESS.

When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.


Well, I guess it's probably because he doesn't see WeChat as nothing but a convenient communication tool, and also has no interest in letting others pry into his personal life. So his moments was basically left empty to make people not dare get closer to him. By comparison, my own moments timeline was simply dazzling. It was chock full with a myriad of all sorts of things. Whenever I went to any scenic spot in the city, I always got the itch to upload at least eighteen pics along with a summary chronicling my excitement while I was there. I had to post about the breath of life blowing against my face, about my my unstoppable enthusiasm and vitality!

Well, I guess it's probably because he doesn't see WeChat as nothing but a convenient communication tool, and also has no interest in letting others pry into his personal life. So his moments was basically left empty to make people not dare get closer to him. By comparison, my own moments timeline was simply dazzling. It was chock full with a myriad of all sorts of things. Whenever I went to any scenic spot in the city, I always got the itch to upload at least eighteen pics along with a summary chronicling my excitement while I was there. I had to post about the breath of life blowing against my face, about my my unstoppable enthusiasm and vitality!

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"

"Wow... your life these days is far too monotonous. Other than going to this park and that park, have you ever thought about going on a trip abroad?"


But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!

"We just saw you the day before last, so what do you really want?"

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"

"Alright, got it—" Apart from Li Zhi, who else would issue such a booming response.


Maybe I should switch my approach and try a different angle?

Maybe I should switch my approach and try a different angle?


For example, maybe I should go sniff out some info about the goings on of the Xiao family from Li Zhi? So without any hesitation, I took Li You and rushed over to her grandparent's house the next day with a spring in my step.

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"

When he saw both me and Xiao Huaisu in the living room, his face grew stiff. His expression was a gobbled mess of confusion, disbelief mixed with a bit of shock.

Shocked, I asked: "Since when have you been into cosplay?" Watching him all dripping wet as he changed out his shoes beside me then walk inside, he replied as we went in: "Ain't I handsome? Anyway, it's because there's a friend in our club who's into this kind of stuff. I just got roped into temporarily filling in a missing spot by him."


Perhaps it was due to this being my first time coming over so early in the morning, because when Lee Moli came to open the door, with a facial mask still spread over her face, she аssumed I was the milk man. And even though I couldn't see her expression all that clearly, the shocked look in her eyes still came through.

I left them with no worries. Li You started playing fight the landlord with Li Zhi and Madam Lee Moli at the age of two. Her two years of experience was more than enough to be on par with my current skills, so leaving her to team up with Qiao Damai shouldn't be an issue.

"Holy hell, I got soaked to the bone real quick! Good thing I wasn't far from your place, huh!" After the unknown creature lifted its head, I realised that silver-haired, black coat wearing guy was Qiao Damai.

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.

Perhaps it was due to this being my first time coming over so early in the morning, because when Lee Moli came to open the door, with a facial mask still spread over her face, she аssumed I was the milk man. And even though I couldn't see her expression all that clearly, the shocked look in her eyes still came through.

What kind of mother asks "what are you doing here" upon seeing their own kid? Rolling my eyes, I led Li You inside, asking while changing my shoes: "I just missed you guys. Is it so wrong for me to come see you?"


"What are you doing here?"

Following a bit of muttering, Lee Moli no longer acknowledged me to instead lead, the just finished changing her shoes, Li You inside by the hand. Ah, there was a pang in my heart. Couldn't you take this adorable son of yours by the hand too?


What kind of mother asks "what are you doing here" upon seeing their own kid? Rolling my eyes, I led Li You inside, asking while changing my shoes: "I just missed you guys. Is it so wrong for me to come see you?"

When I saw Li You sitting on the sofa in the living room, the sudden need to cry in commemoration my prematurely lost love overtook me. But seeing the old and young ones in the room, fearing I would scare them, I decided to bear it instead. However, doing so made me feel sadder all the more.

By the time I ran into the living room to announce dinner was ready to the three inside, every inch of Qiao Damai's face was covered with strips of paper. When he turned to me, not one part of his face could be seen through the strips at all, prompting me to ask in amazement: "Weren't we supposed to draw on the loser's face? Why did you all switch to sticking paper strips?"

What kind of mother asks "what are you doing here" upon seeing their own kid? Rolling my eyes, I led Li You inside, asking while changing my shoes: "I just missed you guys. Is it so wrong for me to come see you?"


"We just saw you the day before last, so what do you really want?"

"All of your Uncle Xiao's boys are married... Oh, by the way, what are you planning on doing, huh? Aunty Hou told you there was girl she'd like to introduce you to when you met her last, so you have to go meet her, alright. You know you can't keep raising Youyou on your own forever, right? You've already been in college for four years, and you're gonna be working right after you graduate. When you start being busy at work, do you think you can keep looking after Youyou like you are right now?"

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)

"All of your Uncle Xiao's boys are married... Oh, by the way, what are you planning on doing, huh? Aunty Hou told you there was girl she'd like to introduce you to when you met her last, so you have to go meet her, alright. You know you can't keep raising Youyou on your own forever, right? You've already been in college for four years, and you're gonna be working right after you graduate. When you start being busy at work, do you think you can keep looking after Youyou like you are right now?"

When I saw Li You sitting on the sofa in the living room, the sudden need to cry in commemoration my prematurely lost love overtook me. But seeing the old and young ones in the room, fearing I would scare them, I decided to bear it instead. However, doing so made me feel sadder all the more.

"Holy hell, I got soaked to the bone real quick! Good thing I wasn't far from your place, huh!" After the unknown creature lifted its head, I realised that silver-haired, black coat wearing guy was Qiao Damai.


Following a bit of muttering, Lee Moli no longer acknowledged me to instead lead, the just finished changing her shoes, Li You inside by the hand. Ah, there was a pang in my heart. Couldn't you take this adorable son of yours by the hand too?

I was already considering whether or not I should just lock his butt in there and not letting him out until after I talk with Xiao Huaisu about random stuff, ask for his WeChat, and have a candlelit dinner with him too. Having a friend like Qiao Damai can seriously affect my good image!

For example, maybe I should go sniff out some info about the goings on of the Xiao family from Li Zhi? So without any hesitation, I took Li You and rushed over to her grandparent's house the next day with a spring in my step.

But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!


After we were inside, she said to the old man bustling about in the kitchen: "Li Zhi, make us another egg custard, Youyou's here."

I replied to Li You: "Stop making crazy аssumptions. Your Uncle Xiao is not a woman."


"Alright, got it—" Apart from Li Zhi, who else would issue such a booming response.

Li You let out a very nonchalant oh, clasping both hands behind her back as she took her sweet time twirling around before returning to the living room. Once there, I caught a glimpse of her dragging her book bag into the study.

"What are you doing here?"

Once he was done with dinner, Qiao Damai, long haunted by the shadow of his defeat, swiftly grabbed his bag pack and fled. Probably never to return to this sad place again.


Leaving the grandmother-granddaughter pair to their chat in the living room, I sauntered into the kitchen, then with a grand degree of filial piety, gave аssistance to my old comrade Li Zhi in the kitchen. Cutting scallions, cracking eggs, adding salt, soy sauce and whatnot, all in complete unison with my old comrade Li Zhi.

Is this what having all your hopes smashed to smithereens feels like? I lifted the slice of radish, while looking at Li Zhi utterly stupefied, not daring to believe what I just heard.

I pulled out the slice of radish I had stuck in my nose, mechanically preparing to stick it in my mouth. Having just about enough of me, Li Zhi couldn't stand it anymore and ruthlessly drove me from the kitchen.

Hearing him, I could only think to myself how Qiao Damai couldn't see the entire situation clearly at all. Before, he at least had a helper beside him, but now he doesn't have anyone, and that father-daughter pair uniting makes him and isolated and unassisted landlord. Is it even a game at that point?

After I made the tea and carried it back out, Xiao Huaisu was standing in front of the French windows, looking at the rain pouring outside.

"What are you doing here?"


Then when a proper moment came, I asked him: "Why's mom wearing a facial mask this early in the morning?"

For example, maybe I should go sniff out some info about the goings on of the Xiao family from Li Zhi? So without any hesitation, I took Li You and rushed over to her grandparent's house the next day with a spring in my step.

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.

There's no need to? What does that even mean? Does he not want to give me his WeChat contact info?


To which Li Zhi replied: "Your mom can put on a mask whenever she wants, why does it matter so much to you?"

Xiao Huaisu's gaze was pointed towards the bathroom for a while, the look in his eyes as he stared, indecipherable. Well, a lot of the expressions in his eyes were indecipherable, and I chose not to look at the things I couldn't discern. After hearing my words, he gave a nonchalant nod, then uttered a faint "okay" in response.

Seeing me bringing out the tea, he made his way back to the sofa and sat back down.

I snapped my head in the direction of the bathroom, yelling: "Who asked you! Don't interrupt me!" Then snapped it back to face Xiao Huaisu.


In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"

After noticing Li You was done with her homework, I swiftly chose to abandon Qiao Damai, saying to her: "Li You, come help dad fight while I go prepare dinner!" If I kept playing I was afraid all my confidence would be lost, making it so I'd never want to play this game again. Wouldn't that mean I would end up loosing a good recreational activity that kills time like this? No, I refuse to let such a thing happen.

It was utterly HOPELESS.

Qiao Damai's tone reeked of hidden bitterness: "I'm never playing fight the landlord again."

"We just saw you the day before last, so what do you really want?"

Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."


"Nangong Park in the south, Beigong Park in the north, Central Park, etc..."

(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)


"Wow... your life these days is far too monotonous. Other than going to this park and that park, have you ever thought about going on a trip abroad?"

Without giving it a second thought, Xiao Huaisu replied: "There's no need to."

Grabbing hold of his hair, he parted it down the middle then tucked the two sides behind each ear before confidently, and coolly, making his way to the bathroom of his own volition. "I'll just take your silence as your jealousy towards my handsomeness then."

But my failed reconnaissance did not make me one bit discouraged. I consoled myself: what was the reason for me going on WeChat anyway? Of course it was to imply that me and my perfect guy were one step closer to one another, like comrades! So this could mean our revolution's success is still possible in the distant future, right? Victory is close!

"Anyways," I continued to ask inadvertently—deliberately—ignoring those distasteful words, "Are you and Uncle Xiao still in contact with one another? It's been a long time since we've seen them, so how are they doing abroad?"

Following a bit of muttering, Lee Moli no longer acknowledged me to instead lead, the just finished changing her shoes, Li You inside by the hand. Ah, there was a pang in my heart. Couldn't you take this adorable son of yours by the hand too?


Li Zhi turned his head and shot me a look, before continuing to cut some vegetables, "Your mother just recently joined a dance troupe to get some exercise, where would we find the time to go somewhere abroad? Don't you know that right now she's the vice-captain of that dance troupe? She's the backbone of that troupe, and there are many things she has to do there, completely opposite the likes of you. When you were in school all you did was waste time idling away. Was there any difference between us raising you with us raising a pig?" Why do you have to exalt your wife while mercilessly stepping on your son in the same vein, huh?

To which Li Zhi replied: "Your mom can put on a mask whenever she wants, why does it matter so much to you?"

In an effort to make random conversation, I looked outside and said: "It seems like the rain is letting up now." The moment I said those words, I regretted it. This was the perfect opportunity to cultivate a good mood, and it was actually shoved right out the window by my very own hands? Am I an idiot?

The fudge...


"Anyways," I continued to ask inadvertently—deliberately—ignoring those distasteful words, "Are you and Uncle Xiao still in contact with one another? It's been a long time since we've seen them, so how are they doing abroad?"

The Hundred Flower awards is like the western Golden Globes. The hierarchy of award ceremonies are Oscar>Golden Globes>everything else (or that's how it was when people gave a crap)[] Moments is WeChat's version of your Facebook or Twitter timelines.[]iana: yeah, I know, it's a more than a while—plus some. Merry Christmas. Next chapter next week.

With a few more casual flicks I had already scrolled to the end. In a whole month he only had a few moments posted? And they weren't even about his personal life at that. How is any of this supposed to help me know anything about that charming prince of mine?

It was utterly HOPELESS.

I pulled out the slice of radish I had stuck in my nose, mechanically preparing to stick it in my mouth. Having just about enough of me, Li Zhi couldn't stand it anymore and ruthlessly drove me from the kitchen.

"Holy hell, I got soaked to the bone real quick! Good thing I wasn't far from your place, huh!" After the unknown creature lifted its head, I realised that silver-haired, black coat wearing guy was Qiao Damai.


"Right after they left, there wasn't that much contact," Li Zhi slid the finished cut veggies off to the side, then continued to slice up some meat, "but we still managed to keep in touch."

Embarrassed, I sent Xiao Huaisu off, closed the door, then dashed over to Li You and took the phone—after first giving that child of mine my solemn gratitude of course, before moving on to undertake my reconnaissance mission of browsing through my Mr. Perfect's Momentstimeline.

The Hundred Flower awards is like the western Golden Globes. The hierarchy of award ceremonies are Oscar>Golden Globes>everything else (or that's how it was when people gave a crap)[] Moments is WeChat's version of your Facebook or Twitter timelines.[]iana: yeah, I know, it's a more than a while—plus some. Merry Christmas. Next chapter next week.

In an effort to defend against this antagonistic intention, taking no consideration at all to whether or not it'll inflict psychological harm on a single guy like me, I decided to change the subject. So while putting the egg custard in the steamer, I asked: "Lao Li, have you been anywhere lately?"


I picked up a slice of radish from nearby, chewing on it, while listening to him.

N/A

From the bathroom Qiao Damai came out while drying his hair, saying: "If you're not asking me, were you asking Professor Xiao or something? Oh yeah, I forgot to ask before, but why were you with Professor Xiao last time?" Saying that, he then raised his head.

I replied to Li You: "Stop making crazy аssumptions. Your Uncle Xiao is not a woman."


"All of your Uncle Xiao's boys are married... Oh, by the way, what are you planning on doing, huh? Aunty Hou told you there was girl she'd like to introduce you to when you met her last, so you have to go meet her, alright. You know you can't keep raising Youyou on your own forever, right? You've already been in college for four years, and you're gonna be working right after you graduate. When you start being busy at work, do you think you can keep looking after Youyou like you are right now?"

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.

"Right after they left, there wasn't that much contact," Li Zhi slid the finished cut veggies off to the side, then continued to slice up some meat, "but we still managed to keep in touch."

Perhaps it was due to this being my first time coming over so early in the morning, because when Lee Moli came to open the door, with a facial mask still spread over her face, she аssumed I was the milk man. And even though I couldn't see her expression all that clearly, the shocked look in her eyes still came through.


Is this what having all your hopes smashed to smithereens feels like? I lifted the slice of radish, while looking at Li Zhi utterly stupefied, not daring to believe what I just heard.

Once he was done with dinner, Qiao Damai, long haunted by the shadow of his defeat, swiftly grabbed his bag pack and fled. Probably never to return to this sad place again.

Just as I opened the door, a huge unknown creature came in from outside.

Li Zhi saw that I hadn't said a word, so he turned around to look at me, facepalming as he said: "Where are you trying to stick that piece of radish, huh?"


Li Zhi saw that I hadn't said a word, so he turned around to look at me, facepalming as he said: "Where are you trying to stick that piece of radish, huh?"

There's not even one pic?

The Hundred Flower awards is like the western Golden Globes. The hierarchy of award ceremonies are Oscar>Golden Globes>everything else (or that's how it was when people gave a crap)[] Moments is WeChat's version of your Facebook or Twitter timelines.[]iana: yeah, I know, it's a more than a while—plus some. Merry Christmas. Next chapter next week.

After I made the tea and carried it back out, Xiao Huaisu was standing in front of the French windows, looking at the rain pouring outside.


I pulled out the slice of radish I had stuck in my nose, mechanically preparing to stick it in my mouth. Having just about enough of me, Li Zhi couldn't stand it anymore and ruthlessly drove me from the kitchen.

From inside, Li You, who had been playing with my phone, hopped off the sofa to stand beside the table then say: "Dad, I already added Uncle Xiao for you while you were making dinner."

Qiao Damai did not doubt this statement at all.

Seeing me bringing out the tea, he made his way back to the sofa and sat back down.

Hearing him, I could only think to myself how Qiao Damai couldn't see the entire situation clearly at all. Before, he at least had a helper beside him, but now he doesn't have anyone, and that father-daughter pair uniting makes him and isolated and unassisted landlord. Is it even a game at that point?

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.


When I saw Li You sitting on the sofa in the living room, the sudden need to cry in commemoration my prematurely lost love overtook me. But seeing the old and young ones in the room, fearing I would scare them, I decided to bear it instead. However, doing so made me feel sadder all the more.

Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."

Li Zhi turned his head and shot me a look, before continuing to cut some vegetables, "Your mother just recently joined a dance troupe to get some exercise, where would we find the time to go somewhere abroad? Don't you know that right now she's the vice-captain of that dance troupe? She's the backbone of that troupe, and there are many things she has to do there, completely opposite the likes of you. When you were in school all you did was waste time idling away. Was there any difference between us raising you with us raising a pig?" Why do you have to exalt your wife while mercilessly stepping on your son in the same vein, huh?

Embarrassed, I sent Xiao Huaisu off, closed the door, then dashed over to Li You and took the phone—after first giving that child of mine my solemn gratitude of course, before moving on to undertake my reconnaissance mission of browsing through my Mr. Perfect's Momentstimeline.

I was already considering whether or not I should just lock his butt in there and not letting him out until after I talk with Xiao Huaisu about random stuff, ask for his WeChat, and have a candlelit dinner with him too. Having a friend like Qiao Damai can seriously affect my good image!

When I walked Xiao Huaisu to the door, after going over it over and over in my head, I finally asked him: "Professor, what's your WeChat ID? I don't have any cash on me, so maybe I could just send you back the money via WeChat later. I'll also have your clothes cleaned and return them to you. I'll wash them to be exactly like they were before too, so don't worry!"


(┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬||┬┬﹏┬┬)

Leaving the grandmother-granddaughter pair to their chat in the living room, I sauntered into the kitchen, then with a grand degree of filial piety, gave аssistance to my old comrade Li Zhi in the kitchen. Cutting scallions, cracking eggs, adding salt, soy sauce and whatnot, all in complete unison with my old comrade Li Zhi.

Li You then giddily chimed in: "There was nowhere left to draw on Uncle Qiao's face, so we could only stick paper on him."

Next, after a moment of silence, he uttered: "I must seriously be hallucinating hard this time..." Pinching himself after he spoke, having no time at all to stop his self-harming action, which seemed to have been done with too much force. It made me unable to help but feel the pain it gave along with him.


Author's Note:

N/A



Notes:

^1.The Hundred Flower awards is like the western Golden Globes. The hierarchy of award ceremonies are Oscar>Golden Globes>everything else (or that's how it was when people gave a crap)

^2. Moments is WeChat's version of your Facebook or Twitter timelines.

iana: yeah, I know, it's a more than a while—plus some. Merry Christmas. Next chapter next week.


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