The Long Road Ahead: C37

Chapter: 37 | Dating

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Dating

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This novel was posted on cntranslations [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)

_{Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."}
Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"

Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."

_{Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."}Xiao Ning: "..."

Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

_{{That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?}}Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."

That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

_{Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!}
Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.

Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

_{It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."}Xiao Ning: "..."

It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

_{An attack of the heart was truly a terrible occurrence, at least this was something couldn't help but think about.}Another reason Xiao Ning failed to get his words out, was on account of him not being able to catch his breath. He felt as though his heart was especially out of sorts. He felt comfortable and satisfied, but he also felt uncomfortable and sad. It was an odd sensation that resembled that sore achy feeling you had after a long journey when your body finally found the time to rest.

An attack of the heart was truly a terrible occurrence, at least this was something couldn't help but think about.

_{Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.}
"So you're what they call a frustrating person, huh? A person who gets under your skin." Shan Haiming clicked his tongue. "The first time we met, the first thing that popped into my head was: this guy has the face of a pushover. Your smile was really pretty, but when you smelled the scent of alcohol your brows twisted into a frown, yet despite that, you still picked up the cup and drank whenever someone offered. So who did you think wouldn't notice something like that, huh?"

Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

_{I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.}
Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

_{ShanHaiming lifted Xiao Ning to his feet, frowning as he saw the man in his grasp seeming to flitter through a thousand and one expressions. "Did you hate it?"}"Open the door," Shan Haiming stated.

ShanHaiming lifted Xiao Ning to his feet, frowning as he saw the man in his grasp seeming to flitter through a thousand and one expressions. "Did you hate it?"

_{It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules.}
Shocked at this recollection, Xiao Ning hung his head. Never in his life had he expected Shan Haiming to be observing him so carefully when they had first met.

It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules. But, quite often, he would display an overly tolerant attitude. It was something Shan Haiming had noticed time and time again. This man, a man older than himself—his senior, resembled a pet dog that knew it would be discarded. It was one that even if it was lost, would be more afraid of annoying others. It was one which would clean itself, hold its leash mouth, sit there obediently and do nothing but look on as its owner walked away.

_{But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."}Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."

_{A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"}Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

_{"You're my boyfriend," Shan Haiming stated matter-of-factly before adding, "and from the start, our relationship has been romantic."}
That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

"You're my boyfriend," Shan Haiming stated matter-of-factly before adding, "and from the start, our relationship has been romantic."

_{That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.}He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.

_{Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.}
I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

_{He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."}Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

_{But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."}We've been dating for a long time???

But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

_{It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules.}He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules. But, quite often, he would display an overly tolerant attitude. It was something Shan Haiming had noticed time and time again. This man, a man older than himself—his senior, resembled a pet dog that knew it would be discarded. It was one that even if it was lost, would be more afraid of annoying others. It was one which would clean itself, hold its leash mouth, sit there obediently and do nothing but look on as its owner walked away.

_{As he was lost in his confusion, Shan Haiming kept his eyes on him without saying a word more, only looking on with interest.}
With crinkled brows, he tried his best to remember. Then confident he really never had such a habit before, he expressed his relief with a sigh.

As he was lost in his confusion, Shan Haiming kept his eyes on him without saying a word more, only looking on with interest.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.}As a result, Xiao Ning pulled out his key and opened the door.

Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.

_{Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."}iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T

Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

_{Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.}
A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

_{And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.}But if you do try to care for it, and if you take it back home to raise, such a situation itself can bring forth another headache.

And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.

_{He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."}It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

_N/AI couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

N/A

_{But he had no idea what he was even saying.}
Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

But he had no idea what he was even saying.

_{And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.}
It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules. But, quite often, he would display an overly tolerant attitude. It was something Shan Haiming had noticed time and time again. This man, a man older than himself—his senior, resembled a pet dog that knew it would be discarded. It was one that even if it was lost, would be more afraid of annoying others. It was one which would clean itself, hold its leash mouth, sit there obediently and do nothing but look on as its owner walked away.

And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.

_{{No, I must've heard him wrong—I must be mistaken.}}It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

No, I must've heard him wrong—I must be mistaken.

_{{I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?}}"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.}
In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.

_{{That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?}}Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

_{Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."}
But if you do try to care for it, and if you take it back home to raise, such a situation itself can bring forth another headache.

Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."

_{Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."}Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."

Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."

_{He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.}
"You said you don't want to be paid," Shan Haiming stated outright.

He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

_{As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.}It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules. But, quite often, he would display an overly tolerant attitude. It was something Shan Haiming had noticed time and time again. This man, a man older than himself—his senior, resembled a pet dog that knew it would be discarded. It was one that even if it was lost, would be more afraid of annoying others. It was one which would clean itself, hold its leash mouth, sit there obediently and do nothing but look on as its owner walked away.

As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

_{{I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.}}What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

_{It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."}Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

_{For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed.}
He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed. Every situation he had encountered since then had made him deviate further and further away from the philosophy he had lived by. He had come out of the closet, he had moved out from Lu Yan's house, and he had even managed to put an end to a secret love he held on to for most of his life.

_{He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."}Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

_{A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"}He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

_{{We've been dating for a long time???}}Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

We've been dating for a long time???

_{It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?}
After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."

It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?

_{But Shan Haiming replied once more, "Again, we are not friends, so what kind of outrageous favours are you doing (for someone you aren't even friends with)?"}
But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

But Shan Haiming replied once more, "Again, we are not friends, so what kind of outrageous favours are you doing (for someone you aren't even friends with)?"

_{ShanHaiming lifted Xiao Ning to his feet, frowning as he saw the man in his grasp seeming to flitter through a thousand and one expressions. "Did you hate it?"}
Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

ShanHaiming lifted Xiao Ning to his feet, frowning as he saw the man in his grasp seeming to flitter through a thousand and one expressions. "Did you hate it?"

_{With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.}His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

_{In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.}His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

_{"You should head to the bedroom first." Shan Haiming again interrupted him.}
"You're my boyfriend," Shan Haiming stated matter-of-factly before adding, "and from the start, our relationship has been romantic."

"You should head to the bedroom first." Shan Haiming again interrupted him.

_{His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"}But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

_{It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.}Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.

_{For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed.}Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."

For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed. Every situation he had encountered since then had made him deviate further and further away from the philosophy he had lived by. He had come out of the closet, he had moved out from Lu Yan's house, and he had even managed to put an end to a secret love he held on to for most of his life.

_{With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."}
Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."

_{Not waiting for him to find the words, Shan Haiming lowered himself to rest a kiss on the ever-worrying man's forehead. His tone and voice still sounded nothing like the whisper shared between lovers, but the gentleness of that kiss was much unlike his words. "You're my boyfriend, are you not? So what are you doing getting all lost in your thoughts thinking all sorts of things for so long, huh?"}
"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

Not waiting for him to find the words, Shan Haiming lowered himself to rest a kiss on the ever-worrying man's forehead. His tone and voice still sounded nothing like the whisper shared between lovers, but the gentleness of that kiss was much unlike his words. "You're my boyfriend, are you not? So what are you doing getting all lost in your thoughts thinking all sorts of things for so long, huh?"

_{It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."}
"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."

It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

_{Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.}So, Shan Haiming was the one who then added, "If you hate it, I'll kiss you again."

Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

_{Xiao Ning moved his lips, but a great wave of reluctance then arose in his heart, resistance melded with with a sense of grievance, he couldn't bring himself to explain. "I'm not..."}
Stunned by this rebuttal, Xiao Ning tried to make his own. "But this was just to help you out—a favour..."

Xiao Ning moved his lips, but a great wave of reluctance then arose in his heart, resistance melded with with a sense of grievance, he couldn't bring himself to explain. "I'm not..."

_{Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.}Xiao Ning: "..."

Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

_{But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."}I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."

_{He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.}Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}
But Shan Haiming replied once more, "Again, we are not friends, so what kind of outrageous favours are you doing (for someone you aren't even friends with)?"

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{"You're my boyfriend," Shan Haiming stated matter-of-factly before adding, "and from the start, our relationship has been romantic."}But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

"You're my boyfriend," Shan Haiming stated matter-of-factly before adding, "and from the start, our relationship has been romantic."

_{He asked again, "Do you not want to do it with me?"}
Xiao Ning: "..."

He asked again, "Do you not want to do it with me?"

_{Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"}
That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.

Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"

_{And that he did, again pressing their lips together in a kiss.}
As he was lost in his confusion, Shan Haiming kept his eyes on him without saying a word more, only looking on with interest.

And that he did, again pressing their lips together in a kiss.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}With crinkled brows, he tried his best to remember. Then confident he really never had such a habit before, he expressed his relief with a sigh.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.}It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?

Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.

_{And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.}Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.

_{Xiao Ning's lips zipped.}
It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?

Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

_{A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"}Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

_{"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."}Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

_{So, Shan Haiming was the one who then added, "If you hate it, I'll kiss you again."}
Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.

So, Shan Haiming was the one who then added, "If you hate it, I'll kiss you again."

_{After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."}
As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."

_{His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.}Xiao Ning: "..."

His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.

_{Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"}
Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.

Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

_{But if you do try to care for it, and if you take it back home to raise, such a situation itself can bring forth another headache.}
Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"

But if you do try to care for it, and if you take it back home to raise, such a situation itself can bring forth another headache.

_{Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"}
Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."

Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"

_{Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.}Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.

Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."}Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

_{But... hold on a second, why do I have to wait in my bedroom?}
But he had no idea what he was even saying.

But... hold on a second, why do I have to wait in my bedroom?

_N/AXiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

N/A

_{{I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?}}Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

_{Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"}Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."

Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}
Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Stunned by this rebuttal, Xiao Ning tried to make his own. "But this was just to help you out—a favour..."}Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

Stunned by this rebuttal, Xiao Ning tried to make his own. "But this was just to help you out—a favour..."

_{Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.}Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}
And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."}Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."

_{What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.}It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

_{It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.}He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.

_{His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"}
Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."

His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

_{Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"}As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"

_{Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.}After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."

Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

_{iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T}
Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T

_{His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.}Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.

_{"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."}We've been dating for a long time???

"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."

_{Not waiting for him to find the words, Shan Haiming lowered himself to rest a kiss on the ever-worrying man's forehead. His tone and voice still sounded nothing like the whisper shared between lovers, but the gentleness of that kiss was much unlike his words. "You're my boyfriend, are you not? So what are you doing getting all lost in your thoughts thinking all sorts of things for so long, huh?"}Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"

Not waiting for him to find the words, Shan Haiming lowered himself to rest a kiss on the ever-worrying man's forehead. His tone and voice still sounded nothing like the whisper shared between lovers, but the gentleness of that kiss was much unlike his words. "You're my boyfriend, are you not? So what are you doing getting all lost in your thoughts thinking all sorts of things for so long, huh?"

_{But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."}
ShanHaiming lifted Xiao Ning to his feet, frowning as he saw the man in his grasp seeming to flitter through a thousand and one expressions. "Did you hate it?"

But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."

_{What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.}Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

_Dating
Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.

Dating

_{Xiao Ning's lips zipped.}We've been dating for a long time???

Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

_{"You should head to the bedroom first." Shan Haiming again interrupted him.}Xiao Ning: "..."

"You should head to the bedroom first." Shan Haiming again interrupted him.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{As a result, Xiao Ning pulled out his key and opened the door.}
He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

As a result, Xiao Ning pulled out his key and opened the door.

_{That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?}
So, Shan Haiming was the one who then added, "If you hate it, I'll kiss you again."

That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

_{"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."}
And that he did, again pressing their lips together in a kiss.

"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

_{Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"}Xiao Ning: "..."

Hearing his apology, Shan Haiming asked with disdain, "What are you even saying sorry for?"

_{Another reason Xiao Ning failed to get his words out, was on account of him not being able to catch his breath. He felt as though his heart was especially out of sorts. He felt comfortable and satisfied, but he also felt uncomfortable and sad. It was an odd sensation that resembled that sore achy feeling you had after a long journey when your body finally found the time to rest.}
An attack of the heart was truly a terrible occurrence, at least this was something couldn't help but think about.

Another reason Xiao Ning failed to get his words out, was on account of him not being able to catch his breath. He felt as though his heart was especially out of sorts. He felt comfortable and satisfied, but he also felt uncomfortable and sad. It was an odd sensation that resembled that sore achy feeling you had after a long journey when your body finally found the time to rest.

_{His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"}Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.

His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

_{Xiao Ning's lips zipped.}His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.

Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

_{Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."}His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

_{But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."}
The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

_{The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.}
Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."

The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

_{We've been dating for a long time???}
Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

We've been dating for a long time???

_{In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.}Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."

In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

_{What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.}iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T

What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

_{{I'm not—it's not like that...}}I couldn't have done something like that. Absolutely not.

I'm not—it's not like that...

_{Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."}
We've been dating for a long time???

Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

_{With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."}For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed. Every situation he had encountered since then had made him deviate further and further away from the philosophy he had lived by. He had come out of the closet, he had moved out from Lu Yan's house, and he had even managed to put an end to a secret love he held on to for most of his life.

With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."

_{{That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?}}With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

That can't be true, though, right? Did I really frown back then?

_{"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."}
Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

_{Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."}As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."

_{iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T}"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T

_{No, I must've heard him wrong—I must be mistaken.}
His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.

No, I must've heard him wrong—I must be mistaken.

_{Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.}"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

_{"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."}Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"

"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

_{Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"}The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

_{As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.}
It wasn't until he and Shan Haiming arrived at the door of Xiao Ning's apartment did that man with his head in the clouds finally descended back to this earthly realm. "Haiming, we..."

As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

_{"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."}Xiao Ning: "..."

"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

_{Xiao Ning moved his lips, but a great wave of reluctance then arose in his heart, resistance melded with with a sense of grievance, he couldn't bring himself to explain. "I'm not..."}After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."

Xiao Ning moved his lips, but a great wave of reluctance then arose in his heart, resistance melded with with a sense of grievance, he couldn't bring himself to explain. "I'm not..."

_{In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.}With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."

In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

_{I'm not—it's not like that...}
"Open the door," Shan Haiming stated.

I'm not—it's not like that...

_{"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.}His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.

_{"So you're what they call a frustrating person, huh? A person who gets under your skin." Shan Haiming clicked his tongue.}
As a result, Xiao Ning pulled out his key and opened the door.

"So you're what they call a frustrating person, huh? A person who gets under your skin." Shan Haiming clicked his tongue. "The first time we met, the first thing that popped into my head was: this guy has the face of a pushover. Your smile was really pretty, but when you smelled the scent of alcohol your brows twisted into a frown, yet despite that, you still picked up the cup and drank whenever someone offered. So who did you think wouldn't notice something like that, huh?"

_{Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.}Shocked at this recollection, Xiao Ning hung his head. Never in his life had he expected Shan Haiming to be observing him so carefully when they had first met.

Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

_{Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."}
I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

Luckily, Xiao Ning's mind had no energy to spare so he paid no attention to the ones around him. While for Shan Haiming, his ever-persistent ways of not giving a damn made him simply not care. He then told Xiao Ning in a way that seemed both indifferent and comforting. "You should get used to it, we've been dating for so long already, after all."

_{Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"}"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."

Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

_{His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"}With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

_{Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.}Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"

Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.

_N/A
Holding Xiaohei, who was happily clinging to him in his arms, with a roused and complicated heart, Xiao Ning looked on at Shan Haiming who was looking around here and there for something. "Haiming, we..."

N/A

_{And that he did, again pressing their lips together in a kiss.}Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"

And that he did, again pressing their lips together in a kiss.

_{Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.}
"You should head to the bedroom first." Shan Haiming again interrupted him.

Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

_{Why do I feel aggrieved in front of this person despite having no reason to do so? He has no obligation or duty to bear the burden of any expectation I have. And with these thoughts, that self-loathing nature which seemed to be an ever-constant with Xiao Ning, was currently rising to all new heights.}
Xiao Ning: "..."

Why do I feel aggrieved in front of this person despite having no reason to do so? He has no obligation or duty to bear the burden of any expectation I have. And with these thoughts, that self-loathing nature which seemed to be an ever-constant with Xiao Ning, was currently rising to all new heights.

_{The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.}That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.

The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

_{Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.}Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

_{It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.}
Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.

_{But Shan Haiming replied once more, "Again, we are not friends, so what kind of outrageous favours are you doing (for someone you aren't even friends with)?"}He cocked his head to the side, asking, "Don't want to?"

But Shan Haiming replied once more, "Again, we are not friends, so what kind of outrageous favours are you doing (for someone you aren't even friends with)?"

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}As he was lost in his confusion, Shan Haiming kept his eyes on him without saying a word more, only looking on with interest.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."}I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

_{His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.}
But... hold on a second, why do I have to wait in my bedroom?

His head was in a haze as he was led back to the car, and remained so even when he was driven back to the apartment.

_{With crinkled brows, he tried his best to remember. Then confident he really never had such a habit before, he expressed his relief with a sigh.}
Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

With crinkled brows, he tried his best to remember. Then confident he really never had such a habit before, he expressed his relief with a sigh.

_{"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.}
Xiao Ning: "..."

"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.

_{Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.}I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

Both at his wit's end, and barely holding on to his last thread of sanity, Xiao Ning had no idea what trouble that guy who marches to the beat of his own drum was again up to, but he still went to prepare Xiaohei's dinner before heading off to his bedroom first to wait.

_{What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.}
No, I must've heard him wrong—I must be mistaken.

What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

_{With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.}
With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

With his butt still flush against the edge of his bedside, when he saw Shan Haiming stride forward as if he were about to pounce on him, Xiao Ning unwittingly moved his body backwards, but he took so long that Shan Haiming had already arrived and leaned over.

_{Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."}He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

Shan Haiming, too, leaned over, then pecked him on his lips. "Alright. Let's go home."

_{For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed.}In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed. Every situation he had encountered since then had made him deviate further and further away from the philosophy he had lived by. He had come out of the closet, he had moved out from Lu Yan's house, and he had even managed to put an end to a secret love he held on to for most of his life.

_{He asked again, "Do you not want to do it with me?"}But... hold on a second, why do I have to wait in my bedroom?

He asked again, "Do you not want to do it with me?"

_{He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."}
His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

_{He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.}Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

He felt all this was wrong, but Shan Haiming's attitude to this wrong was just so calm and so persuasive that to someone with as weak of a constitution as Xiao Ning, it was a move that was far more lethal. He was hypnotised on the spot, so enraptured he couldn't find a moment to interject a remark, nor had any idea what such a remark would even be.

_{Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.}
With nearly no emotion displayed on his face, Shan Haiming looked at him and replied bluntly, "Love."

Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

_{Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.}"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.

Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"}Xiao Ning only now realised something was amiss, and shot up just as Shan Haiming walked in grumbling. "Why don't you have any lube here?"

Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"

_{Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."}
Xiao Ning: "..."

Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."}And in response, Xiao Ning who was indeed much akin to a well-trained Samoyed, leaned himself closer as though it was instinct.

"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."

_{Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.}A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

_{That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.}
Even a person with a malleable temperament like Xiao Ning's couldn't stop himself from spitting out a "WTF" in his mind before asking in a bone-chilling tone, "Are you messing with again right now?"

That guy was so stubborn in his logic, that even Xiao Ning had become convinced. He still felt as though Shan Haiming was teasing him, but his head was so foggy he just had no idea what he should say.

_{Xiao Ning: "..."}Xiao Ning: "..."

Xiao Ning: "..."

_{In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.}Xiao Ning: "..."

In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

_{"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.}Those words of his caused Xiao Ning's breath to be caught in his throat, they were delivered with such abruptness he had no time at all to properly react.

"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.

_{Stunned by this rebuttal, Xiao Ning tried to make his own. "But this was just to help you out—a favour..."}
But Shan Haiming simply pulled the hand pressed against him away, as he spoke, "Didn't I just tell you not too long ago? We've been dating for a long time now, you should get used to it."

Stunned by this rebuttal, Xiao Ning tried to make his own. "But this was just to help you out—a favour..."

_{After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."}"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

After replying, Xiao Ning realised his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added the following to ease it, "Since we're friends, there's no need to act like strangers when helping each other out."

_{The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.}He cocked his head to the side, asking, "Don't want to?"

The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

_{It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, {What if he's not joking?}}It was exactly like this. Obviously, he was very much an adult, and whether it be how he spoke or what he did, he would do so just as any ordinary adult would, being tactful and very much aware of the rules. But, quite often, he would display an overly tolerant attitude. It was something Shan Haiming had noticed time and time again. This man, a man older than himself—his senior, resembled a pet dog that knew it would be discarded. It was one that even if it was lost, would be more afraid of annoying others. It was one which would clean itself, hold its leash mouth, sit there obediently and do nothing but look on as its owner walked away.

It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?

_{Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.}
"You never mentioned anything like this!" Seeing his left hand was caught, Xiao Ning replaced it with his right, but Shan Haiming not allowing any room for refusal, pressed his weight towards him further and made that soft and easy-to-push body of Xiao Ning's fall back on the bed directly since there were no hands left for him to use as support.

Xiao Ning said nothing, his mouth locked shut.

_{Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.}Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

Xiao Ning was finally knocked completely out of his senses.

_{"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."}Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

"Stop joking around," Xiao Ning pressed his lips into a line, and took control of the conversation, "that was just all pretend."

_{{We've been dating for a long time???}}Xiao Ning: "..."

We've been dating for a long time???

_{A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"}
"H-Haiming, we..." Xiao Ning's voice quivered, but Shan Haiming no longer interrupted him and let him finish his sentence, "...need to talk."

A shot of pain erupted on his forehead, and Xiao Ning rubbed the place that had been flicked and whined confusedly, "What? Is something wrong?"

_{Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"}With crinkled brows, he tried his best to remember. Then confident he really never had such a habit before, he expressed his relief with a sigh.

Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"

_{I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?}
Shan Haiming paused, lowering his head to meet Xiao Ning's, while his form was outlined by the light of the living room peeking in since Xiao Ning had forgotten to turn on the lights. The light hitting Shan Haiming's eyes glistened, making him look like a young beast, bound in an aura of indulgence, and one that was untamed.

I should say something. I should say something. I should definitely say something. But what exactly should I say?

_{As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.}He gave no clue about this seemingly out-of-the-blue topic, Xiao Ning was quick to realise he was referring to the matter of him paying him a wage for his time. "Yes."

As for Shan Haiming, he kept sitting there as well, in that same unshakable lackadaisical manner.

_{{Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!}}We've been dating for a long time???

Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating—Dating?!

_{Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"}
He cocked his head to the side, asking, "Don't want to?"

Shan Haiming finally reacted just then, extending his arm and pressing his index finger between his brows, nudging that head before him back and forth lightly. "Are you an idiot?"

_{It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, {What if he's not joking?}}Xiao Ning: "..."

It was then the thought snuck into Xiao Ning's mind, What if he's not joking?

_{Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.}In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.

_{Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.}
Xiao Ning's lips zipped.

Luckily, he added the remainder in a timely manner, so Xiao Ning was able to again breathe easily. He couldn't tell if Shan Haiming was joking, but there was no smile on that guy's face and his expression looked no different than it was normally. To him, everything he said was nothing but a justified reminder of a simple basic truth, and whatever answer Xiao Ning gave had no effect on that matter.

_{In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.}Shan Haiming sighed. "This... this is what I'm talking about—this is exactly my point."

In all honesty, such a personality wasn't likeable at all. It was troublesome to deal with and its evasive nature was a pain. But even with these shortcomings, it also the kind made anyone who sees such a person unable to leave them be and simply look away.

_{"You said you don't want to be paid," Shan Haiming stated outright.}Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."

"You said you don't want to be paid," Shan Haiming stated outright.

_{Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.}
He asked again, "Do you not want to do it with me?"

Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.

_{Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."}
Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."

Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

_{Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."}Xiao Ning, in his twenty-seven years of life, whose first kiss had been preserved until this day, with such a light peck had been taken. In a flash, he became a person struck by lightning out of the blue.

Shan Haiming continued to grumble, "A grown man (like you) who doesn't drink, who doesn't smoke, chose to eat a piece of watermelon and looked like he was having the time of his life. But when you ate something without sweetness, your mouth turned down in a frown, it was as though you practically couldn't stand it."

_{He cocked his head to the side, asking, "Don't want to?"}
I'm not—it's not like that...

He cocked his head to the side, asking, "Don't want to?"

_{Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."}Xiao Ning was more shocked that he was panicked, and even his stocks hadn't gone down that much, because the ageing heart in that chest of his, as if it were some wild dog that had lost its reigns, was currently pouncing madly.

Xiao Ning, by his nudging, had now returned to his senses. "No..."

_{Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.}
For a moment, all he could do was stare at the man above him—for a moment, all he could do was not speak a word. Ever since he had met Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning's life had completely changed. Every situation he had encountered since then had made him deviate further and further away from the philosophy he had lived by. He had come out of the closet, he had moved out from Lu Yan's house, and he had even managed to put an end to a secret love he held on to for most of his life.

Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

_{Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.}As he was lost in his confusion, Shan Haiming kept his eyes on him without saying a word more, only looking on with interest.

Just this thought spurred on his heart, egging that organ into gallops that made it feel as though it would burst out of his chest. Towards Shan Haiming, Xiao Ning now stared intently, it was true he sacred out of wits, it was true he wanted to bolt right then and there, but that body of his just kept sitting there, not moving a muscle, as if it was adhering to its owner's persistent will.

_{Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.}
What Shan Haiming thinks was of course what he wanted to know, but on top of that was whatever he, himself, thought was something he had known better.

Xiao Ning's eyes, as if unable to withstand the weight of their gaze, slid, faltering but only just this once. The second it had, as though something was erupting and rumbling in his ear, he lifted his head with a start, refocusing his gaze again.

_{"You said you don't want to be paid," Shan Haiming stated outright.}
Xiao Ning moved his lips, but a great wave of reluctance then arose in his heart, resistance melded with with a sense of grievance, he couldn't bring himself to explain. "I'm not..."

"You said you don't want to be paid," Shan Haiming stated outright.

_{Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.}But Shan Haiming tilted his head and interjected, "But we're not friends."

Shan Haiming then retracted his finger and hooked it, motioning for Xiao Ning to come close.

_{Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."}
Why do I feel aggrieved in front of this person despite having no reason to do so? He has no obligation or duty to bear the burden of any expectation I have. And with these thoughts, that self-loathing nature which seemed to be an ever-constant with Xiao Ning, was currently rising to all new heights.

Xiao Ning felt his throat become especially dry. "We..."

_{Shocked at this recollection, Xiao Ning hung his head. Never in his life had he expected Shan Haiming to be observing him so carefully when they had first met.}
Not waiting for him to find the words, Shan Haiming lowered himself to rest a kiss on the ever-worrying man's forehead. His tone and voice still sounded nothing like the whisper shared between lovers, but the gentleness of that kiss was much unlike his words. "You're my boyfriend, are you not? So what are you doing getting all lost in your thoughts thinking all sorts of things for so long, huh?"

Shocked at this recollection, Xiao Ning hung his head. Never in his life had he expected Shan Haiming to be observing him so carefully when they had first met.

_{The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.}His hand moved to rest against Shan Haiming's chest without thinking. "What is this—what are you doing?"

The road they had stopped on was not a main road, but it wasn't a remote one either, giving all the people passing by a view of the two men displaying their love. Some revealed strange looks as made their way around, looking back to peek as they did so, while others pulled out their phones to post this display on Weibo.

_{An attack of the heart was truly a terrible occurrence, at least this was something couldn't help but think about.}
Another reason Xiao Ning failed to get his words out, was on account of him not being able to catch his breath. He felt as though his heart was especially out of sorts. He felt comfortable and satisfied, but he also felt uncomfortable and sad. It was an odd sensation that resembled that sore achy feeling you had after a long journey when your body finally found the time to rest.

An attack of the heart was truly a terrible occurrence, at least this was something couldn't help but think about.

_{"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."}
It was as though his nerves and muscles were finally allowed to relax, and this was when he realised that he had been bracing himself tightly, holding on and enduring, for far too long.

"Really?" Shan Haiming rested his arm on the back of the bench for support, as he leaned his body to the side and propped his head up with his hand. "But you said you didn't want any money, which means none of this could be considered the terms of employment."

---

Author's Note:

N/A

Notes:

iana: finishing sentences helps a translator out too. I'm just saying T_T

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