Brother-in-law: C09-1

09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

This novel was posted on cntranslations [dot] com, by anasiana. If you're not reading it there, you get what you get ￣へ￣)

_{“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”}
A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

_{So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.}“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

_{Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.}But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:

Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.

_{{This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!}}“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

_{So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.}
Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.

So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.

These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.

_{For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.}“Why? Why is it like this?”

For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

_{“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”}
While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.

“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{Yan Ran, there’s no need to speak those great truths because, as I said, this world has never been fair, even when it comes to love. So please wait for me to do it right. Wait for me to love you as I should.}
“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

Yan Ran, there’s no need to speak those great truths because, as I said, this world has never been fair, even when it comes to love. So please wait for me to do it right. Wait for me to love you as I should.

_{So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”}Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.

So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}Yan Ran has forgotten you.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{He knew the kind of person Yan Ran was; he was the type of fool who would follow whatever path he decided on until the end. Even if he died—even in death—his soul would be unable to forget the name Fang Shixiu.}
He was a man who lacked Yan Fei’s gentle charm, Ximen Rongruo’s stoic grace, and Xuanyuan Wuji’s noble allure. He was nothing but a little beast, driven by pure emotion and instinct. He would gnash his teeth and bare his claws at Fang Shixiu, saying words like “I love you” while those pure black eyes fixed on his own. To Fang Shixiu, who had always prodded himself on calm temperаment and self-restraint, really have fallen into such a state?

He knew the kind of person Yan Ran was; he was the type of fool who would follow whatever path he decided on until the end. Even if he died—even in death—his soul would be unable to forget the name Fang Shixiu.

_{He was a man who lacked Yan Fei’s gentle charm, Ximen Rongruo’s stoic grace, and Xuanyuan Wuji’s noble allure. He was nothing but a little beast, driven by pure emotion and instinct.}Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

He was a man who lacked Yan Fei’s gentle charm, Ximen Rongruo’s stoic grace, and Xuanyuan Wuji’s noble allure. He was nothing but a little beast, driven by pure emotion and instinct. He would gnash his teeth and bare his claws at Fang Shixiu, saying words like “I love you” while those pure black eyes fixed on his own. To Fang Shixiu, who had always prodded himself on calm temperаment and self-restraint, really have fallen into such a state?

_{“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.}While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.

“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

_{Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.}
His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.

Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.

_{Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.}On the field, wearing an ordinary set of white swordsman garb, was Yan Ran, with his entire head shaven.

Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

_{Fang Shixiu couldn’t help but stare at the young man before him. His dark eyes, as black as the night sky itself, seemed to shimmer against the white of his clothes. His motionless figure before him seemed as though he were standing on a cloud.}“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”

Fang Shixiu couldn’t help but stare at the young man before him. His dark eyes, as black as the night sky itself, seemed to shimmer against the white of his clothes. His motionless figure before him seemed as though he were standing on a cloud.

_{{Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.}}But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}
The first time they met, that boy was fifteen and chock full of all the paѕsion of youth, while his eyes overflowed with wildness itself. It was those eyes that first set the conquering nature within Fang Shixiu’s heart alight.

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.}This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

_{For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.}
He wanted that youth to fall for him.

For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.}
Do not ask why he would possess such childish thoughts because his twenty-plus years of life have been spent being the epitome of caprice and obstinance. He only chose to do whatever he liked. His first notable act was becoming enamoured by swords before he came of age; thus, he became a swordsman, much to his parents’ chagrin.

While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.

_{“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.}He simply needed some time—time to understand his own feelings—time to decide if he was willing to jump into that emotional quagmire that was love again. It would be his third time. His third time after learning from his experience with Ye Ling and Yan Fei that love didn’t just bring happiness. Oftentimes, loving someone too much would also give birth to other, more painful feelings. Like the pain of not getting the one you want or the despair that follows attaining that love only to lose it.

“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

_{Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.}So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control. Despite those feelings he had, in the beginning, being as insignificant as ants, there were now so many of the little things crawling within him that they gnawed away at the walls of his emotional dam. With its collapse, all his feelings and dеsires came surging forth with no means of control.

Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

_{The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.}Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”

The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.

_{Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.}
Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively cleanly one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.

Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.

_{He believed using his body was enough. He believed he could keep that little beast clinging to him madly through carnal pleasure alone. But much to his shock, that stubborn one had instead put his foot down and drawn a line.}“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

He believed using his body was enough. He believed he could keep that little beast clinging to him madly through carnal pleasure alone. But much to his shock, that stubborn one had instead put his foot down and drawn a line.

_☆☆☆But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

☆☆☆

_{Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.}The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.

Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

_{He wanted that youth to fall for him.}
Later in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west. Fang Shixiu wanted to treat that man as a precious treasure, but that Ye Ling possessed a wayward soul as stubborn as his. In addition, that man chose to give his heart to that good-for-nothing Xia Fangge. Giving rise to Fang Shixiu’s very first brush with disappointment in his short life.

He wanted that youth to fall for him.

_{The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.}But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.

_{Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”}“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”

_{“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”}A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{On the field, wearing an ordinary set of white swordsman garb, was Yan Ran, with his entire head shaven.}
Afterwards, he met Yan Fei, a woman possessing a gentle and considerate nature that moved a person’s heart. There were countless women in the world, but she was the only one who suited him best. Like this, he had made up his mind to make her his wife, despite his parents again opposing.

On the field, wearing an ordinary set of white swordsman garb, was Yan Ran, with his entire head shaven.

_{“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”}Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground. Unfortunately, there was a rock where he fell, so he hit his head and was left unconscious for two days. I had to remove some of his hair to treat the wound, but after he woke up, he said it was still rather uncomfortable, so he shaved the rest off.”

“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

_{His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.}
For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.

_{Later in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west.}Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.

Later in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west. Fang Shixiu wanted to treat that man as a precious treasure, but that Ye Ling possessed a wayward soul as stubborn as his. In addition, that man chose to give his heart to that good-for-nothing Xia Fangge. Giving rise to Fang Shixiu’s very first brush with disappointment in his short life.

_{His injured arm..}Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

His injured arm... It was a genuine accident by all accounts, but it stemmed from Xuanyuan Wuliang having too much hostility towards him. In that man's eyes, he noticed sometime later that there was only his brother, Xuanyuan Wuji. He seemed to only care for that older brother of his, so much so that he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else stealing his brother’s gaze. Everyone… Everyone in this world is obsessed with love!

_{The first time they met, that boy was fifteen and chock full of all the paѕsion of youth, while his eyes overflowed with wildness itself. It was those eyes that first set the conquering nature within Fang Shixiu’s heart alight.}
So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth. If he could not live in accordance with his own will, he would rather forfeit his life without a second thought. Even though this strong rebellious nature caused him strife and earned him the life of a wanderer, he still lived it with no regrets or complaints. Living an unrestrained life was his source of happiness.

The first time they met, that boy was fifteen and chock full of all the paѕsion of youth, while his eyes overflowed with wildness itself. It was those eyes that first set the conquering nature within Fang Shixiu’s heart alight.

_{Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”}Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.

Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)}This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}
Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground.}Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”

Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground. Unfortunately, there was a rock where he fell, so he hit his head and was left unconscious for two days. I had to remove some of his hair to treat the wound, but after he woke up, he said it was still rather uncomfortable, so he shaved the rest off.”

_{Ximen Rongruo was no longer a child; his every move and gesture exuded confidence and ease. He was currently standing at the edge of the training ground, with Fang Shixiu right beside him, as they both watched a practising Yan Ran.}
After realising the object of his dеsire, he snuck into Fang Shixiu’s bed in the dead of night to steal a kiss—his every act exuding pure intentions. “He’s just a kid,” Fang Shixiu thought. “Even if he was persistent, in the end, it was only due to his wants and fleeting sense of confusion.”

Ximen Rongruo was no longer a child; his every move and gesture exuded confidence and ease. He was currently standing at the edge of the training ground, with Fang Shixiu right beside him, as they both watched a practising Yan Ran.

Fang Shixiu couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn't fathom such a thing. If the sun rose from the west tomorrow, he would be open-minded enough to think such a thing to be true, but Yan Ran forgetting him was something incomprehensible. The earth shifting its axis made more sense!

_{His injured arm..}
At first, he only wanted Yan Ran to fall for him, and then he would pull back and walk away. But, for some reason, he started liking that pristine and youthful body. He simply couldn’t stop himself from teasing him time and time again. He couldn’t help but blame his own weakness for his inability to leave each time.

_{Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.}Yan Ran has forgotten you.

Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}
Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”

“What do you mean by that?”

_{Do not ask why he would possess such childish thoughts because his twenty-plus years of life have been spent being the epitome of caprice and obstinance. He only chose to do whatever he liked. His first notable act was becoming enamoured by swords before he came of age; thus, he became a swordsman, much to his parents’ chagrin.}The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.

Do not ask why he would possess such childish thoughts because his twenty-plus years of life have been spent being the epitome of caprice and obstinance. He only chose to do whatever he liked. His first notable act was becoming enamoured by swords before he came of age; thus, he became a swordsman, much to his parents’ chagrin.

But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

_{Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.}Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.

_{Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.}
These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.

Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

_{{Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.}}Yan Ran, there’s no need to speak those great truths because, as I said, this world has never been fair, even when it comes to love. So please wait for me to do it right. Wait for me to love you as I should.

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.}Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

_{09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)}
While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.

09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

_{So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.}Do not ask why he would possess such childish thoughts because his twenty-plus years of life have been spent being the epitome of caprice and obstinance. He only chose to do whatever he liked. His first notable act was becoming enamoured by swords before he came of age; thus, he became a swordsman, much to his parents’ chagrin.

So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

_{Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.}So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

_N/A
At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.

N/A

_{So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

_{At first, he only wanted Yan Ran to fall for him, and then he would pull back and walk away. But, for some reason, he started liking that {pristine} and youthful body. He simply couldn’t stop himself from teasing him time and time again. He couldn’t help but blame his own weakness for his inability to leave each time.}At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.

At first, he only wanted Yan Ran to fall for him, and then he would pull back and walk away. But, for some reason, he started liking that pristine and youthful body. He simply couldn’t stop himself from teasing him time and time again. He couldn’t help but blame his own weakness for his inability to leave each time.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.

“What do you mean by that?”

_{Yan Ran has forgotten you.}
He simply needed some time—time to understand his own feelings—time to decide if he was willing to jump into that emotional quagmire that was love again. It would be his third time. His third time after learning from his experience with Ye Ling and Yan Fei that love didn’t just bring happiness. Oftentimes, loving someone too much would also give birth to other, more painful feelings. Like the pain of not getting the one you want or the despair that follows attaining that love only to lose it.

Yan Ran has forgotten you.

_{{This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!}}But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

_{A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again.}
His injured arm... It was a genuine accident by all accounts, but it stemmed from Xuanyuan Wuliang having too much hostility towards him. In that man's eyes, he noticed sometime later that there was only his brother, Xuanyuan Wuji. He seemed to only care for that older brother of his, so much so that he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else stealing his brother’s gaze. Everyone… Everyone in this world is obsessed with love!

A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

_{His injured arm..}N/A

_{So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”}A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

_{Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.}So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.

Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.

_{“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.}
So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control. Despite those feelings he had, in the beginning, being as insignificant as ants, there were now so many of the little things crawling within him that they gnawed away at the walls of his emotional dam. With its collapse, all his feelings and dеsires came surging forth with no means of control.

“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

_{“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.}09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

_{But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.}
But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

_{So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”}“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

_{Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively {cleanly} one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.}Ximen Rongruo was no longer a child; his every move and gesture exuded confidence and ease. He was currently standing at the edge of the training ground, with Fang Shixiu right beside him, as they both watched a practising Yan Ran.

Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively cleanly one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.

_{Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.}N/A

Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

_{The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.}So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control. Despite those feelings he had, in the beginning, being as insignificant as ants, there were now so many of the little things crawling within him that they gnawed away at the walls of his emotional dam. With its collapse, all his feelings and dеsires came surging forth with no means of control.

The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.

_{The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.}
He believed using his body was enough. He believed he could keep that little beast clinging to him madly through carnal pleasure alone. But much to his shock, that stubborn one had instead put his foot down and drawn a line.

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”}His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.

Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”

_{So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control.}
Yan Ran, there’s no need to speak those great truths because, as I said, this world has never been fair, even when it comes to love. So please wait for me to do it right. Wait for me to love you as I should.

So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control. Despite those feelings he had, in the beginning, being as insignificant as ants, there were now so many of the little things crawling within him that they gnawed away at the walls of his emotional dam. With its collapse, all his feelings and dеsires came surging forth with no means of control.

_{For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.}09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

_{Fang Shixiu couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn't fathom such a thing. If the sun rose from the west tomorrow, he would be open-minded enough to think such a thing to be true, but Yan Ran forgetting him was something incomprehensible. The earth shifting its axis made more sense!}A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.}So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

☆☆☆

_{So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.}
Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

_{Yan Ran has forgotten you.}The first time they met, that boy was fifteen and chock full of all the paѕsion of youth, while his eyes overflowed with wildness itself. It was those eyes that first set the conquering nature within Fang Shixiu’s heart alight.

Yan Ran has forgotten you.

_{These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.}“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.

_{Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground.}So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth. If he could not live in accordance with his own will, he would rather forfeit his life without a second thought. Even though this strong rebellious nature caused him strife and earned him the life of a wanderer, he still lived it with no regrets or complaints. Living an unrestrained life was his source of happiness.

_{He wanted that youth to fall for him.}The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.

He wanted that youth to fall for him.

_{Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”}
Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

_{“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”}Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.

“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

_{Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.}
But geniuses will always have their ways. So he began training with his left hand and managed to achieve incredible results. Despite his level of mastery still falling short of his right hand, he could still be considered exceptional.

Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.

_{“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”}Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”

“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

_{For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.}“Why? Why is it like this?”

For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

_{Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively {cleanly} one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.}A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again. A head popped in from behind the door—a head belonging to Yan Ran. After the supposedly departed youth rolled his raven-black eyes around the room, his gaze fixed upon Fang Shixiu before he declared, “A year from now, if you can defeat me with your left hand in three moves or under, I promise to always stay by your side.”

_{Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.}So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth. If he could not live in accordance with his own will, he would rather forfeit his life without a second thought. Even though this strong rebellious nature caused him strife and earned him the life of a wanderer, he still lived it with no regrets or complaints. Living an unrestrained life was his source of happiness.

Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

_{Later in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west.}
The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.

Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

_☆☆☆
But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:

☆☆☆

_{Yan Ran has forgotten you.}But geniuses will always have their ways. So he began training with his left hand and managed to achieve incredible results. Despite his level of mastery still falling short of his right hand, he could still be considered exceptional.

Yan Ran has forgotten you.

But geniuses will always have their ways. So he began training with his left hand and managed to achieve incredible results. Despite his level of mastery still falling short of his right hand, he could still be considered exceptional.

_{Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.}“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.

_{Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.}
Fang Shixiu couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn't fathom such a thing. If the sun rose from the west tomorrow, he would be open-minded enough to think such a thing to be true, but Yan Ran forgetting him was something incomprehensible. The earth shifting its axis made more sense!

Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

_{So when Yan Ran forsake everything and rushed to his side upon hearing the news of his injury, in that instant, Fang Shixiu realised his heart was already completely bound to that wild youth. The more he stared at that delicate face and that slender body, the more his dеsire became hаrd to control.}While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.

_{The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.}
He knew the kind of person Yan Ran was; he was the type of fool who would follow whatever path he decided on until the end. Even if he died—even in death—his soul would be unable to forget the name Fang Shixiu.

The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.

_{At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

_{Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.}
So, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

_{The first time they met, that boy was fifteen and chock full of all the paѕsion of youth, while his eyes overflowed with wildness itself. It was those eyes that first set the conquering nature within Fang Shixiu’s heart alight.}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

“What do you mean by that?”

_{{Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?}}Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.

Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?

_{At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.}
The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.

_{His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.}So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

_{Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground.}
Ximen Rongruo was no longer a child; his every move and gesture exuded confidence and ease. He was currently standing at the edge of the training ground, with Fang Shixiu right beside him, as they both watched a practising Yan Ran.

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”}
“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}Later in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west. Fang Shixiu wanted to treat that man as a precious treasure, but that Ye Ling possessed a wayward soul as stubborn as his. In addition, that man chose to give his heart to that good-for-nothing Xia Fangge. Giving rise to Fang Shixiu’s very first brush with disappointment in his short life.

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{Fang Shixiu couldn’t help but stare at the young man before him. His dark eyes, as black as the night sky itself, seemed to shimmer against the white of his clothes. His motionless figure before him seemed as though he were standing on a cloud.}On the field, wearing an ordinary set of white swordsman garb, was Yan Ran, with his entire head shaven.

_{Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.

_N/A
On the field, wearing an ordinary set of white swordsman garb, was Yan Ran, with his entire head shaven.

N/A

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}N/A

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{Afterwards, he met Yan Fei, a woman possessing a gentle and considerate nature that moved a person’s heart. There were countless women in the world, but she was the only one who suited him best. Like this, he had made up his mind to make her his wife, despite his parents again opposing.}Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.

Afterwards, he met Yan Fei, a woman possessing a gentle and considerate nature that moved a person’s heart. There were countless women in the world, but she was the only one who suited him best. Like this, he had made up his mind to make her his wife, despite his parents again opposing.

_{Do not ask why he would possess such childish thoughts because his twenty-plus years of life have been spent being the epitome of caprice and obstinance. He only chose to do whatever he liked. His first notable act was becoming enamoured by swords before he came of age; thus, he became a swordsman, much to his parents’ chagrin.}“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

_{Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.}
Ximen Rongruo sighed, replying to the startled man beside him, “He had been focused on nothing but the match he would have with you since he returned last year, so he had been practising like a madman. One day, he was so exhausted that his entire body seized up, and he fell to the ground. Unfortunately, there was a rock where he fell, so he hit his head and was left unconscious for two days. I had to remove some of his hair to treat the wound, but after he woke up, he said it was still rather uncomfortable, so he shaved the rest off.”

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.}His first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.

While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.

_N/A“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

N/A

_{But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.}N/A

But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.

_{But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:}N/A

But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:

_{Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?}
Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?

_N/A☆☆☆

N/A

_{“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”}But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”

_{Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.}“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}“What do you mean by that?”

“What do you mean by that?”

_{“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.}
“What do you mean by that?”

“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

_{He was a man who lacked Yan Fei’s gentle charm, Ximen Rongruo’s stoic grace, and Xuanyuan Wuji’s noble allure. He was nothing but a little beast, driven by pure emotion and instinct.}At first, on that youth’s face was pure confusion, then anxiety soon took its place, and in the end, tears spilled from his eyes in torrents. He wept. He begged. He kept calling Fang Shixiu’s name without end.

_N/AFang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

N/A

_{Yan Ran’s panting and trembling while in his arms drove him crazy, but he still acted like he didn’t care. He pretended there was nothing more. “The one who was held captive was Yan Ran, so why was I the one feeling constrained? Why did I repeatedly refuse Ximen Rongrou’s admiration for his sake? Why could I not feel so much as a twinge towards others just for him? Why was this happening?”}
“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

_{Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.}“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

Yan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.

_{“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.}
For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.

“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

_N/ALater in his young life, he fell for the golden-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Ye Ling, entranced by that man's rare features. They were said to have come from his mother, who hailed from the distant lands in the west. Fang Shixiu wanted to treat that man as a precious treasure, but that Ye Ling possessed a wayward soul as stubborn as his. In addition, that man chose to give his heart to that good-for-nothing Xia Fangge. Giving rise to Fang Shixiu’s very first brush with disappointment in his short life.

N/A

_☆☆☆While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.

☆☆☆

_{“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.}
“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

_{Afterwards, he met Yan Fei, a woman possessing a gentle and considerate nature that moved a person’s heart. There were countless women in the world, but she was the only one who suited him best. Like this, he had made up his mind to make her his wife, despite his parents again opposing.}“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

_{He believed using his body was enough. He believed he could keep that little beast clinging to him madly through carnal pleasure alone. But much to his shock, that stubborn one had instead put his foot down and drawn a line.}
Fang Shixiu’s face was drained of its colour. It had even taken him a long time before he could speak.

_{He believed using his body was enough. He believed he could keep that little beast clinging to him madly through carnal pleasure alone. But much to his shock, that stubborn one had instead put his foot down and drawn a line.}The years paѕsed in a blink, and he was eagerly awaiting the start of the competition that would be hosted by House Ximen.

_{“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.}But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.

“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

_{For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.}
“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.

_{A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again.}“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

N/A

_{“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"}So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth. If he could not live in accordance with his own will, he would rather forfeit his life without a second thought. Even though this strong rebellious nature caused him strife and earned him the life of a wanderer, he still lived it with no regrets or complaints. Living an unrestrained life was his source of happiness.

“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

_{But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.}“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.

_{So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth.}
So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.

So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth. If he could not live in accordance with his own will, he would rather forfeit his life without a second thought. Even though this strong rebellious nature caused him strife and earned him the life of a wanderer, he still lived it with no regrets or complaints. Living an unrestrained life was his source of happiness.

_{The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.}“What do you mean by that?”

The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.

_{These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.}But the arrogant him was still not used to putting aside his ego in order to ingratiate himself with Yan Ran. So with Ye Ling’s arrival, he deliberately left him in hopes of making Yan Ran make the first move after being unable to bear it.

These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.

_{“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.}“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

_{But geniuses will always have their ways. So he began training with his left hand and managed to achieve incredible results. Despite his level of mastery still falling short of his right hand, he could still be considered exceptional.}Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!}
“Why? Why is it like this?”

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

_N/AYan Ran disappeared once more, leaving Fang Shixiu with no opportunity to respond.

N/A

_{But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.}He wanted that youth to fall for him.

But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.

_{{Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?}}Fang Shixiu couldn’t believe it. He simply couldn't fathom such a thing. If the sun rose from the west tomorrow, he would be open-minded enough to think such a thing to be true, but Yan Ran forgetting him was something incomprehensible. The earth shifting its axis made more sense!

Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?

_{So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”}
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

_{{Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.}}“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.

Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{He was a man who lacked Yan Fei’s gentle charm, Ximen Rongruo’s stoic grace, and Xuanyuan Wuji’s noble allure. He was nothing but a little beast, driven by pure emotion and instinct.}
“Yan Ran is a child who cannot live a life without you; this is a simple truth. But the stronger he appears, the more fragile his heart becomes. So after you left, life for him became no different than living in purgatory. Perhaps it finally became too unbearable. Perhaps it was easier to just forget you.”

_{{So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.}}N/A

So it’s only me... It’s solely me he can’t remеmber.

These thoughts left Fang Shixiu overwhelmed with trepidation, enough to make everything spiral out of control. So when House Ximen was in the midst of an upheaval, he decided to leave.

_{{Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?}}☆☆☆

Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?

_{So he was an excessively individualistic and aloof swordsman. Sometimes he believed being willful was the only purpose of his birth.}Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively cleanly one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.

_{Yan Ran was similar in a way; he too was quite individualistic. But that youth was still very much motivated by wild beast-like nature—relying solely on instinct to pave his path—to hunt his prey.}
“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.}So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

“Honestly, things being this way is for the better.” Ximen Rongruo, unlike the man next to him, remained composed.

_{At first, he only wanted Yan Ran to fall for him, and then he would pull back and walk away. But, for some reason, he started liking that pristine and youthful body. He simply couldn’t stop himself from teasing him time and time again. He couldn’t help but blame his own weakness for his inability to leave each time.}
Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.

_N/ASo, like this, Fang Shixiu found his way to the Ximen residence earlier than scheduled to prove the words in that note were a lie.

N/A

_{While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.}
Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.

_{09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)}“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

_{While touching his right arm, the just-lost bitter smile was replaced with contemplation. {That kid has truly grown up now. He even dared to make such a proposition in addition to it requiring such painstaking effort.}}“Why? Why is it like this?”

_{Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.}
Yan Ran… Have I truly caused you so much pain? Have I truly hurt you so deeply?

Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:

“What do you mean by that?”

_{“Why? Why is it like this?”}
“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

“Why? Why is it like this?”

_{At first, he only wanted Yan Ran to fall for him, and then he would pull back and walk away. But, for some reason, he started liking that {pristine} and youthful body. He simply couldn’t stop himself from teasing him time and time again. He couldn’t help but blame his own weakness for his inability to leave each time.}This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

_{“What is it that you still fail to grasp? He erased all of you from his memories. He knows nothing about who you are and remеmbers none of the years you spent together.” Ximen Rongruo explained in a calm tone that, in itself, had a sense of cruelty.}
Yan Ran ran over upon hearing his name and was soon standing before them.

_{Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”}So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

Fang Shixiu still couldn’t believe the words being told to him, his expression reflecting as much as he asked, “Did he forget about me after waking up, then?”

_{Yan Ran has forgotten you.}“Yan Ran… Oh, Yan Ran, why do you entangle my heart so?"

Yan Ran has forgotten you.

_{“What do you mean by that?”}Fang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

“What do you mean by that?”

_{For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. {If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.}}Fang Shixiu couldn’t help but stare at the young man before him. His dark eyes, as black as the night sky itself, seemed to shimmer against the white of his clothes. His motionless figure before him seemed as though he were standing on a cloud.

For a while, Fang Shixiu was in a state of dismay. If Yan Ran still remеmbered me, he would be here. He would never leave me waiting for long without running over to talk.

_{But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.}
Fang Shixiu couldn’t help but stare at the young man before him. His dark eyes, as black as the night sky itself, seemed to shimmer against the white of his clothes. His motionless figure before him seemed as though he were standing on a cloud.

But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.

_{{This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!}}“What do you mean by that?”

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! We made a deal, and it still has yet to be fulfilled!

_{The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.}But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.

_N/AHis first act of seduction of the youth had been done out of nothing but petty revenge. All because that little fool with a sister complex avoided him for four whole years for “stealing” said sister away.

N/A

_{But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.}
Fang Shixiu wanted to embrace him right then and there.

But Fang Shixiu never turned back to look at him. To this day, he still praises himself for being able to show such determination.

_{“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.}The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.

“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

_{“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.}“Yes. He currently has no memories of you as a person at all.”

“Yan Ran! Come.” Ximen Rongruo’s voice broke Fang Shixiu’s contemplation.

_{But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:}
So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

But a month before the competition had begun, Fang Shixiu received a letter from Ximen Rongruo that contained a few short words:

_{Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.}“Shixiu… Did I say too much?”

Fang Shixiu felt as though his heart had been gouged out, the pain enough to make his limbs run cold.

_{After realising the object of his dеsire, he snuck into Fang Shixiu’s bed in the dead of night to steal a kiss—his every act exuding pure intentions. “He’s just a kid,” Fang Shixiu thought. “Even if he was persistent, in the end, it was only due to his wants and fleeting sense of confusion.”}
Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”

After realising the object of his dеsire, he snuck into Fang Shixiu’s bed in the dead of night to steal a kiss—his every act exuding pure intentions. “He’s just a kid,” Fang Shixiu thought. “Even if he was persistent, in the end, it was only due to his wants and fleeting sense of confusion.”

_{“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”}N/A

“Good god!” Fang Shixiu exclaimed, his head whipping towards Ximen Rongruo as he couldn’t believe the sight before him. He almost shouted as he then asked, “What the hell happened?!”

_{A bitter smile tugged at Fang Shixiu’s lips—a smile only he witnessed. Just as he was about to tidy up his messy clothes, his door was pushed open again.}Perhaps he is right? Maybe everything being like this is for the better. At the very least, he no longer has to be dragged down by the past. Maybe, like this, he will no longer be as sad or lonely.

_{“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.}“Why? Why is it like this?”

“Did he forget anyone else? Does he remеmber Yan Fei or you?” He managed to squeeze out.

_{Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”}
The smile on the face before him was so innocent—like a child who had never been contaminated by the world.

Yan Ran took a step back away from him as he neared, however, smiling as he inquired, “Hello, young master. May I ask who you are?”

_{{Yan Ran, there’s no need to speak those great truths because, as I said, this world has never been fair, even when it comes to love. So please wait for me to do it right. Wait for me to love you as I should.}}“Nonsense! What utter nonsense!” Fang Shixiu sneered.

_{Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.}His injured arm... It was a genuine accident by all accounts, but it stemmed from Xuanyuan Wuliang having too much hostility towards him. In that man's eyes, he noticed sometime later that there was only his brother, Xuanyuan Wuji. He seemed to only care for that older brother of his, so much so that he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else stealing his brother’s gaze. Everyone… Everyone in this world is obsessed with love!

Apart from simple activities, nothing else could be done, and swinging a sword was absolutely out of the question.

_{Despite their opposition, he became a swordsman, an obsessively cleanly one at that. He adored wearing the whitest of robes and loved washing himself with the most fragrant of soaps. It was to the point where even when he practised as hаrd as he could every day and put himself on the brink of death, he allowed not a single drop of blood to touch him, fearing he might get soiled.}
But for Fang Shixiu, that innocent smile wiped away the smile he barely managed to squeeze out in an instant.

_{Yan Ran has forgotten you.}So, with outstretched hands, he stammered out, “Yan Ran... Yan Ran?”

Yan Ran has forgotten you.

_N/AFang Shixiu’s right arm did not fully recover.

N/A

_{“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.}The Ximen residence was the same as when he left it, but there were now many unfamiliar faces alongside the swordsmen he once knew, and this time the name of the person in charge of the sect was Ximen Rongruo.

“Yes.” Ximen Rongruo took a moment before he replied, affirming that man’s fears.

_{While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.}For Fang Shixiu, the most important thing in his life was his freedom. For him, the loss of such freedom would be a fate worse than death.

While Yan Ran’s trembling body was held in his arms, he asked him to stay behind.

Author's Note:

N/A

Notes:

N/A

Updated every Friday. Raws: Kobo

Advance chapters on ko-fi

Brother-in-law: C09-1

09.1: Only Then Will I Rest (Fang Shixiu)

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Notes:

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